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Tied and Twisted

12 Jul

With my hands grabbing my ankles, my bottom hovering in the air above the mattress, the only thing left to support my upper body weight was my face — which was ungracefully smashed by the effort.
This was a surprise on an otherwise innocent Sunday morning. Just as I opened my eyes, he was there, pulling off my tap pants, freeing me from my lace tank top. I thought he had his mind on fun. I had no idea.
He grabbed me by the feet and pulled me to the end of the bed, attaching the soft restraints to my ankles. Then he flipped me onto my stomach, giving me a motivational swat to my barely awake butt, and put matching cuffs on my wrists. From the nightstand, he grabbed the O-ring hub device to connect my ankles to my wrists.
He stood back to survey my positioning. I swear he said, “Oh yeah. I like this,” as if he were the tawny, scrawny lion contemplating a field of sleeping bunny rabbits. Feast all you want, lion, this bunny isn’t hopping anywhere.
His hand worked its usual cadence but it was the belt who betrayed me: belittling spots not meant to be scolded, but I could not shield those most tender areas. With my wrists connected to my ankles, I know that I was wide open to any onslaught. Belt, hand, fingers, teeth, vibrator, I was vulnerable to it all.
And, yes, I loved it.

Thus is the life of a sex toy tester.
He rolled me onto my back with my knees drawn to my chest, and I couldn’t suppress my giggles. I was dizzy with the possibilities of our newest set of bondage cuffs, watching my breasts bounce with each gulp of air.
With so many uncomfortable positions on the menu, will we ever have time to try them all?
Pertinent info on “Hog-tied” restraints:
Material: Nylon/Metal
Color: Black
Length: 15″
Width: 2″
Closure: Velcro/buckle
Manufacturer: Sportsheets
Price: $28.99


Who Reads Korean?

29 Jun

An old, dear friend of mine — or a friend of longstanding, his age having no relevance here (although he is olderish) — sent me these photos of an implement found at a toy show in Toronto.

It is a rattan thingamajig which he calls a cane and he says it is VERY nice, extra-special emphasis on “very” — which I translate as “wicked”. I’d argue that it’s not a cane, but I’m not sure what this little treat should be called.
There is a Korean inscription on the handle and he wonders if any of you might know what it says.

You don’t really need to be able to read Korean to come up with answers. Bonus points for creativity.

Whip Tip Flop

16 May
It was inevitable.
The girl who boasted of never meeting an implement she didn’t like can no longer make that claim.
I approached this toy from Eden Fantasys, the adult toy retailer, with the same nervous excitement as I greet any new addition. It was whippy. It was croppy. It was the Whip Tip Crop, and it looked like a stinger.

Made of black leather, it looks just like it sounds: a crop-style shaft that finishes in a whip tip of thin, nylon rope. Chosen from Eden’s Bondage Toys selection, it had great reviews.
After an appetizer replete with hand and belt, it was time to test this toy out. True to its appearance, it stung. And it stung some more. The level of sting never fluctuated, no matter how softly or harshly it was used. The whip tip isn’t long enough to offer a variety of sensations but instead it felt like the same-sized bee stinging my bottom repeatedly. If you enjoy just plain sting — and this girl doesn’t — then you might like this implement.
Perhaps it would be better as a crop?

We dove in only to find that the whip tip wraps if it is used as a crop. After a few swishes and cracks, my body cried ‘Uncle’ — my unprotected hip bones not designed to absorb pain quite like my generous bottom. D, as an experienced connoisseur, has a stern “no wrapping” rule as well, so he quickly abandoned the experiment amid my cries of genuine discomfort.
What did that devious Dom reach for next, to appease both of us?
The cane. Yes, that one. All 40 inches of it.
One way or another, it appeared as though I was going to earn my stripes that night. Six blazing strokes to the rescue, and the evening was saved — earning me new bragging rights.

Best in Show

2 May
It arrived in plain, brown cardboard. Eden Fantasys, a sex toys retailer, understands matters of discretion. However, my emotions upon opening the nondescript box were anything but discreet: pulse quickening, tummy tightening, lip moistening delight.

It looks like a crop, but isn’t. Unlike a crop, the shaft itself is not meant for spanking, as there is a coil of metal where it meets the leather tip. The 24″ Doggin’ Bat culminates in two pieces of 1.5″ wide leather, the business end of the implement.
Any time there is a new member introduced to our toy chest, I brim with nervous enthusiasm. It’s rather like a first date, isn’t it? The anticipation, the tease, the wait — will he be as good in person as he is on paper? What kind of panties should I wear for this introduction? (Of course, to carry the analogy that far insinuates that I’m the kind of girl to flash her knickers on a first date. I will neither confirm nor deny.)
When it comes to leather, though, I’m sort of a sure thing.
Oh yes, predictably, my jeans were joined by my panties in short order and the Doggin’ Bat slap, slap, slapped its way across my cheeks. I kept thinking, “Where is the bite? There is no bite. Bring the heat!”

From Chross

About to call a halt to the initiation, suddenly the bat sprung to life with a resounding whap! It was at one moment barely perceptible, and the next, cringe-worthy in its gruffness.
And that handle…oh my, that naughty handle probed in places a handle has never gone before, only to turn itself ’round again and survey other sensitive areas.
It was a full-body, sensual exploration that kept me guessing at his next move. Higher, lower, under my cheeks, (between my cheeks), his leather fingers snapped and caressed. Would he be hard? Would he gently tongue me closer to climax only to withdraw again with a punishing stroke? He had the ability to do it all. Except vibrate.

Yes, I shall be taking this tall, dark rider out for a second date. Maybe next time I’ll make it a ménage à trois and invite one of his horsey cousins.

40 Inches of Mean

21 Mar

There's something missing

I had it delivered directly to D’s.
Patience is not one of my virtues, so at the end of each day I anxiously asked, “Have you received a package from Eden Fantasys yet?”
It arrived in time for our weekend together. I’d be experiencing it in less than 24 hours, time enough for hundreds of images to infiltrate my thoughts: me, bent and waiting, D tapping a rhythm before landing a stroke.
When Eden Fantasys, an online feast of adult sex toys, contacted me just seven days prior about reviewing one of their products, the only uncertainty was what, among their vast offerings, I would pick. After short consideration, I chose their Bamboo Cane, 40 inches of lean, mean, knotty discipline dressed in a leather handle.


I could have chosen a number of their Bondage toys (clamps, anyone?) but I stayed true to my spanko roots. The cane scares me. I’m still inexperienced with the searing, burning type of pain that accompanies it. But I’m a geek, a sucker for experiments. I’ll take one — or a dozen — for my kinky team.
Having no concept of what a 40 inch cane would look like (I’m a geek, not a mathematician), I was shocked, SHOCKED, by the length of this toy. It could strike three two of me lined hip to hip. Imagine the momentum this slim slugger could achieve!
Fortunately I did not have to imagine for long, as D was just as eager to test our newest team member’s hitting power. So, there I was: bent over the bed, my pants and panties already discarded in the pre-game scrimmage, wondering what the hell I was thinking when I chose the cane.


That's better.

The familiar burn inflamed me as D exclaimed at the smoothness of the dreaded implement. I could feel small welts rise as D explained that this was not a toy for a beginner. And wasn’t I lucky that he is an expert in all things whippy?
Lucky, indeed, I kept telling myself through the three subsequent sessions of the cane that weekend. Lucky, indeed, I reminded myself as I gazed in the mirror at the fading bruises and remembered the cane’s stinging bites.
Lucky, indeed, I am for having the opportunity to test a most excellent implement, an ally in the bedroom with its ability to deliver sensual taps. But when D gives me that look, you better believe I will recall the 40 inches of retribution that now await me in the toy closet. Thank you, Eden Fantasys.
That bamboo cane means business.
Please visit The Pink Reviews for this review and others.

The Santa Tawse

12 Dec

“The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”
– Pierre-Auguste Renoir
When the owner and craftsman of Paddle Me Pink Leather (PMP) made the offer to test one of his paddles, it didn’t take long for me to consider. How could I refuse two of my most favorite things, leather and spanking, when combined with the opportunity to sample an implement from one of today’s growing specialty shops?
We chose PMP’s leather tawse because I’d never had the pleasure of experiencing multiple, stinging fingers of leather.
After friendly and professional communication, the custom-made tawse arrived quickly and discreetly. I squealed with joy upon opening the package. Small enough to fit next to my wooden hairbrush in my over-sized purse, the tawse bore a hand-tooled “P”, illustrating PMP’s penchant for customizable design.

The tawse is 15″ (slightly longer than standard) by 2.5″ of gorgeous, hand-dyed leather with four 6″ long beveled “fingers”. I was curious to see if this lightweight implement was a giant in disguise.

The first opportunity to test it presented itself this weekend, and D, with the diligence of a Top, enthusiastically put it to use on my warmed and bared backside.
While it made lovely music on my cheeks, it wasn’t heavy enough to set me dancing immediately. What it lacks in thud factor, it makes up for in burn as, after about a dozen licks, I was wriggling, unsuccessfully, away from the punishing sting.
As big fans of traditional OTK, this leather implement offered us what the belt does not: an opportunity to feel D’s thighs beneath me as I eventually raised my bottom to greet the tawse, combining two of our great loves in one handy piece.

But what did D, the experienced Dom and “Stranger-to-no-spanking- device”, have to say?

“This implement, unlike our thick, leather strap or the cane, is perfect for portable play at any skill level. Because of its size and lightweight structure, I didn’t have to worry about leaving ugly marks or injuring you.
While the handle is on the small side for my large hands (wink, wink), the tawse is well-balanced and would be great for a couple who likes to switch, too. It is the perfect implement for the beginner or for the more skilled looking to add a little sting to a warm-up.”
I cannot say enough nice things about the proprietor of PMP, also a blogger, or of the excellent craftsmanship of this lovely tawse — his 15 years experience certainly shows. I plan on keeping it on my bureau (when not expecting company), the personalized “P” serving as an ominous reminder of its ability to make me squirm and plead.
Be sure to check out PMP’s other offerings — in addition to my Tawse, the featured item, The Heavy Single Tail Strap looks particularly delicious.
PMP has graciously offered all readers of The Pink Report an enticing 20% discount until the end of December with this code at check-out: PNKRPRT10.
‘Tis the Season for giving, so don’t forget to treat yourself (and your bottom) to a gift that will keep you warmer than any handknit sweater. I’d like to send a big thank you to PMP for the opportunity to test his product. It’s a gift that will keep on giving.

All photos courtesy of PMP Leather.

Woman vs. Wood

28 Nov

Shall it be death by fire?
Or perhaps I shall back over it with my car, and then advance, and then back over it again.  Surely it would crack then, rendering it useless.
Maybe I should plan a stealth operation and paddlenap it, under the cover of darkness, from its resting place in D’s toybag.
No matter the method, that paddle has got to go.
I say this without any hint of coyness.  There is no love-hate relationship here.  My abhorrence of the thick, wooden paddle is pure and unadulterated — I see that thing in D’s hand and my blood turns to ice.    It’s as if everything else in the universe ceases to exist and there is just that paddle and me, in a stand-off.
This morning, after the paddle retreated to the Black Bag of Hell,  I searched for evidence of our last battle — a battle from which I tearfully  emerged, defeated.  I searched under and between my cheeks, everywhere.  But there were no marks.  There was nothing to indicate how much I hurt, how much I cringed and pleaded with it to cease its relentless assault.
The paddle is mocking me.  It is belittling me, reminding me that it hasn’t used its full strength yet, its battalion of troops still waiting in the wings.   I do not appreciate mockery.  I do not appreciate its cowardly attack from behind my back — be paddle enough and face me, woman vs. wood.
I will win.  That paddle will be decimated.  One day.  The gauntlet has been thrown and I will claim my rightful title of “Pink the Great” and all the imps will cheer.
I will go medieval on its ass, like it has on mine, pulling it apart splinter by wicked splinter.     And I will laugh my evil laugh as it is reduced to a pile of kindling at my feet.
Die, paddle, die.

Extraordinary uses for ordinary objects

14 Sep

The ever naughty, always raunchy Heels-n-Stockings from Sexual Adventures of a Married Woman organized a fun group post inspired by a book called “Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things”. Her take on it was definitely more of the “insertables” variety but, I, being a spankophile to the nth degree, chose to focus on the use of ordinary objects during a spanking.

Shocking. I know.

So, without further ado, I give you a list of 25 household items that can be used before, during, and after a spanking session:

1. Leather motorcycle glove — Two implements in one, a hand coated in leather. I prefer the fingerless variety as you can still enjoy the skin-to-skin contact (and fingers remain free to investigate).

2. Bamboo back scratcher — The knobs of the bamboo handle are a unique sensation.

3. A straight back chair — Yes, the top can sit on it and pull the errant young lady over his lap, recalling a picture of traditional discipline. But if you’re tall, like me, you can also press your hips against the back and fold your body over it, resting your elbows on the seat. Or you may choose to use TWO chairs back-to-back and place your knees on one seat, your torso over the backs, and grip the seat of the other chair while enjoying a hearty administration of hand or strap.

4. Lexan blind rod — These actually are much more useful on blinds and have no justifiable reason to be used on bottoms. Move on to the next one on the list, dear Tops.

5. A belt, around the knees — We all know that a belt makes a terribly effective and fun implement — although some may hesitate to agree. But have you ever been bound with one? When you hear the belt trailing through the loops, you might be expecting to feel its power against your cheeks. What a surprise when, instead, you feel it tightening just above your knees, preventing you from getting out of position. It’s an interesting twist on restraints that I highly recommend.

6. Car mat — This is one of the more evil, evil things I have experienced: corner-time while sitting on the pointy-side of a car mat. I can tell you this though: I have never driven after having a few too many since that experience. (The punishment fit the crime.)

7. Dowel off of a wooden hanger — Preferably while holding onto a balcony railing, watching people below as you attempt to hold back your reactions. (Be sure to remove any nails or splinters from the rod as it can otherwise cause a startlingly awful and unintended sensation.)

8. A marking rod — This may be one of the more unusual items on the list. You know those flags you use to mark your driveway in the winter so the snowplows don’t plow you in? Remove the flag part and you have a fiber-glass rod that is just the right length for an over-the-bed session.

9. A pizza board — My good (vanilla) friends have one of these hanging on their kitchen wall. If things get a little hot in the kitchen, how about leaning over the counter for a few spontaneous doses of this item?

10. A sawhorse — I recommend covering it in some sort of padding before use. I assure you, if the restraints are done properly, a sawhorse leaves one completely vulnerable to whichever of these chosen implements. A good mix of pain and pleasure while over the horse makes it an activity that can be enjoyed for an extended period of time.

11. Panties — They can be used as handles, restraints around the knees or, if things get too loud, an impromptu gag. I have had the dubious pleasure of having my own wet panties unceremoniously stuffed in my mouth during a particularly vocal session.

12. A DIY strap constructed with leather from a tack shop and a work-light handle — See here.

13. Clothespins — It was not my idea to include this on the list. Yes, this is my blog, but a certain person (ahem) wishes to impart his wisdom as well. So I’ll say it fast: put one on each nipple. Do NOT exceed 15 minutes. DO control the tension with a rubber band if they are too tight. A positive thing about clothespins? It can distract you from the spanking.

14. Ruler — They make flexible rubber rulers! They sting! A lot!

15. Wooden spoon — Yawn. But it’s one of those “old reliables” that, no matter how many times it’s been used, elicits a rousting reaction.

16. Rolled up towel — Yes. They do hurt when rolled and snapped at a naked bottom, preferably while said bottom is running and giggling throughout the house.

17. Mentholated cream (NOT Icy Hot or Ben-gay) — Not for during, you pervs. (Although I have heard of some adventurous souls doing this.) No, this is for AFTER a particularly hard spanking. The cream is soothing and hot all at once and aids in the healing process. I used this after my last hard session and like to think that my bottom regained its lily glow a whole lot quicker because of it.

18. An ordinary house slipper — When the rubberized sole connects to flesh, the impact is just as effective as some other specifically designed spanking implements. Plus, it’s a bit humiliating to be spanked with a slipper — don’t you think?

19. Silicone hot pad — They’re floppy. They’re silicone. And with a slight snap of the wrist, they really do make one take note.

20. Fly swatter — A clean one, please. They make them in leather, too.

21. Kid’s paddle game — Remove the ball and elastic string. See how many swats you can get in before the thin plastic breaks. My record? One swat.

22. Spatula — Another stand-by that is always at hand. A wooden spatula is a particularly powerful foe that makes my eyes widen each time I see it.

23. Dog leash — I guess they make braided leather ones, too, but I’ve only experienced the woven cloth variety, which pack a nice and unexpected zing.

24. Wooden hairbrush — The all-time favorite ordinary object employed by spankos everywhere. I keep mine in plain view on my dresser so each morning I can imagine its employment on my bottom.

25. Tree branch — The selection of the perfect branch might just be the best part of using this implement. Once it is free of excessive knobs be prepared to be wowed. Its wide availability is a detriment to bottoms in any locale.

Whew. There goes my career in politics.

Feel free to add any “ordinary item” suggestions before visiting the other kinky folks playing (warning NSFW, of course!):


4 May

In my 33 years of adventuring, I have yet to ride a real live horse. The opportunity just never presented itself. So in lieu of an actual horse, I have seized the moment, taken the reins, and ridden two very different kinds.
The first, although seemingly mild to the initiated, is a horse of the iron variety: a Harley. I’m not a biker chick, far from it, but the exhilaration of having a vibrating machine between my legs, the wind whipping my face, and a strong man to hold onto is certainly approaching “addiction” status. Vroom, vroom!
The other, the one of more consequence to this blog, is a sawhorse. This piece of pervertable spanking furniture is a must for any home.
While outfitted in my schoolgirl uniform, I was bound over a padded sawhorse, legs restrained at one set of feet and hands cuffed at the other. My short skirt, as photographic evidence proved, hid nothing. Of course, it didn’t help that my panties had been removed. And the most movement I could accomplish was a bit of grinding and scooching, accentuating my complete vulnerability.
In this position, I was at the mercy of a fairly sadistic man. Sadistic, in my mind, can be an extremely good thing. I was pushed further than ever: the pain of the paddle and the crop, his hand and the strap, was almost too great for even this die-hard spanking enthusiast. But he knew just when to relent and offer up some pleasure.
So I floated there, in the hazy area between pain and pleasure, physical fire, for an unknown amount of time. (Video footage says it was just over a half an hour, but it definitely seemed longer.)
Bound and spanked over a sawhorse: that beats the ponies at the County Fair any day!
Giddyup, horsey!
(Photo courtesy of

Wish list…answered

12 Apr
An important man in my life believes that there are no coincidences.

I’ll leave this decision to my 5 readers after I give my brief and purposely vague account of the weekend.

Friday afternoon, and there are three items on my wishlist: a Hitachi wand, restraints from, and a thick wooden paddle from I had already ordered the wand (with two attachments…squee!), having considered it previously, and am anxiously awaiting Tuesday’s mail.

It is finally Saturday night, and I am presented with (drumroll)…the wooden paddle. Not the exact one, mind you, but with near identical measurements. My assessment: strictly punishment, no fun to be had there! Cross that item off my list, please and thank you.

Imagine my surprise when I next meet a restraint system similar to the one I had my eye on, quickly followed by the Hitachi wand! My assessment: in the interest of modesty (and a good sense of self-preservation), I will only say that the restraints should arrive in about a week. And the Hitachi? Money well spent.

Yes…that good. And regardless of the existence of coincidence, I do believe in fortune. And I am one fortunate, pink-cheeked, satisfied girl.

Happy Sunday night!

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