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Breaking Up is Hard to Do

7 Aug

You’ve noticed my silence, my awkward pauses, my distance. I’ve been pulling away but I won’t say why.
Well, I’ve found someone else. Someone who lets me be me, all of me, with no restrictions.
I think it’s for forever.
WordPress, I hate to say it but I think our time is done. You grew jealous when I linked to commercial sites, blocking my ability to reach out to others, preventing future relationships from being forged. Your intentions were good — but ultimately too controlling and possessive.
There’s a new site in town. And she’s all my own.
Welcome to my new place: That’s right, my own domain where I can do whatever (and whomever) I choose.
I can post videos and audio directly. I can host multiple pages. I can link, link, link to and other commercial vendors. I can grow.
And now that I have this nasty business of breaking up out of the way, I can write again.
Please join me there.


Too Many Buns on the Fire

30 Jul

If you spank two women at once, are you doing as thorough a job as if you’d only been spanking the one?
I’d argue no, when your attention is split, you can’t possibly focus on achieving optimum spankage at maximum pleasure.

I haven’t been spanking two women at once. But I have been juggling multiple things. Multi-tasking, for me, sometimes means doing 5 things badly all at once. And for the next week or so, I need to be extraordinarily good at least one thing.
I will return with more of The Pink Report in about a week. Feel free to email, comment, or send carrier pigeons until then.
See you soon.

Both photos can be found at The Pink Papers, which will remain full of updates in my absence.

Confessions of a Search Engine

3 May

Scrolling through the phrases people used to find The Pink Report felt a little like reading entries on PostSecret. I hope that my blog was able to help, although in some cases I’m sure they weren’t expecting me.
Here are some highlights:
Men with one ball — Ouch! Is there a dating site for that?
My creation turned against me — Better known as, “I created a spanking machine but neglected to make an off switch.”

Spanked by Poppy — Really? Does Poppy know about this?
I don’t need anyone — Everybody needs somebody. Even if it’s only the good people at your ISP.
Your cock tears my — I’m in suspense. What? What does it tear? Seems like the search should have been for high quality lubrication and a shoe horn.
I hope they spank me — I wasn’t going to say anything, but you do need a spanking.

Proud of my bare butt — Sing it, sista!
Left my panties at home — Better that than, “Left my panties at some guy’s house where he’ll hang them on his wall.”
Since running a blog and realizing all that blog owners can see, I chuckle every time I type in some crazy search combination. Those vanilla sites probably wonder what kind of nutter is trolling the internet looking for “princess in striped socks spanked for smoking”.

Yeah, not exactly the princess I wanted.

Blogger Strikes

30 Apr

I urge everyone who has an adult blog on Blogger to export (save) their blog so no material is lost. The incidences of deleted adult blogs have increased lately, Cranky Spanker being the latest. If anyone has any questions on how to do that, please feel free to ask in the comments and I’ll email you instructions.
Or do what I did and set up another, back-up blog and roll it out when it’s ready so you can leave on your terms. Pandora Blake did this, too, after Blogger slapped a compulsory adult warning label on her blog, resulting in plummeting stats from decreased search engine results. (She has a gorgeous self-hosted site now. Be sure to visit.)
Others are seeing their blogs disappear from Blogger, only to reappear hours or days later, like Spanked Hortic, who chose to set up permanent residence afterward on WordPress.
Last Fall, I concluded it was only a matter of time before Blogger would delete my own blog, so I made a smooth, unhurried transition here. WordPress, for the most part, has been easy to use and has beautiful template designs. I have absolutely no regrets in moving.
EDIT TO ADD: Instructions for backing up your blog on Blogger
1. From your Dashboard, select “Settings”;
2. Select “Basic”;
3. Under “Blog tools” (first option), select “Export blog”‘;
4. Click on “Download blog” and select “Save File”.
Voila. Now if you get deleted, you can upload it back on Blogger and then do a live export to a different blogging site. (Blogger has installed some proprietary information on its .xml file, so you can’t upload the saved file directly. Thanks to Hermione for pointing this out.)
It’s Pink-proof Technology.

Give Me Your Pits & Thorns

28 Mar

I have a problem — well, several I’ve been told, but only one is on my mind right now.
Wooden paddles notwithstanding, I’ve never met an implement I didn’t like (even amid vehement protests). Consequently, my review site is looking all peaches & roses, when I really need some pits & thorns.
What I need is some crankiness — someone a little miffed that his paddle broke on the first swing, or that her vibrator wakes the neighbors. Perhaps you’ve already written about it? Perhaps it’s on your blog, waiting to be published again on The Pink Reviews (with full credit, of course)?

I’m open for submission and I’d love your input. Email me your sexy tales of triumphs and woes with kinky products or pervertables: literature, spanking movies, implements, restraint systems — that beer bottle that was used to…well, you know. (Scratch the beer bottle, and its accompanying photos.)
A few caveats: keep it safe, sane and consensual, as I know all of you will. To insure honest reviews, no money will be made from this site. It is purely for the sexification of our public.
That’s right. Sexification. Look it up — you won’t find it in the dictionary.
Be sure to give Zelle some good girl love for creating the header graphic on the review site. Isn’t it cool?

Just Getting Started

23 Mar

“I want to be your brat, your woman, your friend. I want to tell you everything, whispering my confessions as I lie across your lap. I want stress relief; I want to relieve your stress. I want butterflies, anxiety and comfort all wrapped in a passionate package and tied with a belt.
“Until then, I’m barely pink. You know what to do.”

That was how I began.

One year. One candle.

One year ago today, with encouragement from friends, I created The Pink Report. I didn’t know a thing about blogging, HTML code, or reciprocal links. I just wanted to write.
I started blogging for myself without much concern for who was reading. As the views grew, thanks to leaders such as Chross, Bottom Smarts, and The Spanking Spot, my whispered confessions finally found voice over your laps.
Yes, I have written. Three hundred and twenty-five posts later, I can say: goal accomplished. From my first meager offering to my first Chrossed post, I’ve shared more secrets than I knew I had.
You’ve been with me since the beginning of my relationship with D. This blog has seen our first date, first kiss, first spanking. He’s been my inspiration and you have been our witness.
You’ve seen me with writer’s block. You’ve seen me in my pajamas. You’ve seen me cry. You’ve seen me orgasm.
You’ve seen my butt.

Not my butt.

My first switching, restraining, safe-wording, caning all happened here.
You’ve watched me grow, pushed me toward growth. From five daily visitors to 2,800 in February, from the voice of a newbie to someone who has some answers, this blog has become bigger and wiser with your help. A thank you hardly suffices.
So here it is: give me one celebratory whack. Make it a running, leaping, spank-from-the-shoulder kind of smack, one that counts. This spank is for you.
Because we’re just getting started.
Because I’m barely pink and you know what to do.

Dirty Girl

15 Feb

“You are an unpaid pornographer now, Pink. How naughty,” he teased into my ear, referencing my new venture, The Pink Papers, as we curled on the bed.
“Oh, my naughtiness gets repaid,” I purred back.
Laughing as he stroked my left nipple, “How exactly is that?”
“I get paid in spankings,” I answered, my voice dipping to a whisper. “And you know what, Mister?”
“What?” He asked, huskily.
With a wriggle of my cool cheeks against his pelvis, I made myself clear.
“Rent is due.”
Drawing by Waldo.

A bottomfelt thanks

15 Dec

It’s a cliché to say that just being nominated for an award is an honor. Most people who say that mean, “I really hope I win even though I don’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hell.”
But in the case of The Spanking Spot’s 2010 Blogger of the Year Award, I sincerely mean that the honor is just in the nomination and in seeing my little blog listed among the other outstanding bloggers who have helped me so much this year. I am indebted to them, even more so now that I am standing next to them.
Names like the inimitable Chross and Bonnie, the trail-blazing Spanking Blog and the girl everyone knows, Pixie. The gorgeous and spunky, Erica, who every man wants to spank. MarQe with his formidable and lovely study, and Devlin and Poppy, too, whose blog garners more comments than I have seen anywhere.
To find The Pink Report, listed there, among the giants, gives me reason to continue this blog that started on a whim and has led to friendships and revelations that I didn’t think possible 9 months and thousands of words ago.
Thank you for reading my prolific ramblings, for linking to me, and commenting. I know there are a lot of worthy blogs out there and I greatly appreciate being chosen as one for your reading list.
Also, if it looks like I’m getting my butt kicked in a very bad way, please consider casting a vote my direction just so I feel some love. Thanks!

Baddest role model of the month

3 Nov

Perhaps you’ve heard of The Spanking Bloggers Network, a group of fellow bloggers who write about…you guessed it, spanking. This November, I have the great honor of being named “Blog of the Month”, joining previous winners: My Bottom Smarts, Hermione’s Heart, Chross, and Poppy’s Submissions. I am in fine company.

I joined the Network almost as soon as I decided on a layout for the blog; I later changed the layout (a rather generic pink template) but kept the Network. It continues to be a top referrer and also offers a forum for fellow members to collaborate, plot, and wring our hands (although not much of the latter).

Whenever a new blogger contacts me, it is one of the first suggestions that I make: join Spanking Bloggers Network. If you’re interested in joining, scroll to the bottom of their page and follow the instructions. It’s Pink-proof, so it must be easy.

If you’re “just” a reader, please investigate the blogs on the membership roster. On its home page, the blogroll is constantly updated with its members’ posts, making it a valuable resource for inhaling your up-to-the-minute spanking fix. There’s something there for everyone.

And a big, hearty thank you from me to The Spanking Bloggers Network for this honorable distinction of “Blog of the Month”. I’m sure nobody will strip me of my crown if those nude photos I took last year resurface — with this group it might even mean a second nomination!

Or not.

Paid in full

1 Nov

I’m inviting you into D’s and my bedroom; I imagine you hiding in the closet with our knowledge, our inner exhibitionist natures complementing your secret voyeur within.
You cannot see us. We cannot see you. But this is for you, the readers of The Pink Report, as a result of LOL Day.


The first part is pure fun. D delivers nearly 300 firm, yet playful, spanks to my pantied and then bared bottom as I read each commenter’s name.
I can’t seem to upload the audio from my old blog. But you can find it here.

Now things turn a little more serious while addressing the number of comments I left on the LOL Day post — D introduces the strap. I love leather, but this thick, thuddy implement makes its bruising impact after only a few strokes, much less 32. It was for this reason that D restrained my hands and legs during this portion of the spanking.
As you’re listening to this recording, please keep in mind that D and I always have a safeword in place in case things get to be too much. At no time did I want to end this strapping, even though my voice grows plaintive pretty early on. (I have a difficult time listening to this portion of the spanking simply because it sounds as if I’m not enjoying it — I assure you, I was.)

Near the end of the clip, you will hear a ‘swish’ of the cane as D reappears in the bedroom. It was time to pay my debt for another infraction, off the record. But that’s for another post entirely.
I can’t seem to upload the audio from my old blog. But you can find it here.

I am suddenly shy now.

Thank you, once again, for the tremendous response to LOL Day. When I began this blog, I had no idea how important you readers would become to me. In just seven months, The Pink Report has seen over 100,000 visitors, attained 121 followers, and has taken on a life of its own.

You, my readers, are what keeps this blog alive. Thank you.

All photos found at Doonstar, original sources unknown.

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