Archive | ask pink RSS feed for this section

Spanking a vanilla: email from reader

12 Oct

Pink’s got mail!

The observant among you may have noticed the new “email me” button on the right sidebar, an idea I borrowed from Celine’s blog. My reaction to receiving several readers’ emails proved that I haven’t changed much since my days at camp — mail is met with much excitement and a fair amount of jumping up and down. (All while keeping my cool, of course.) So, keep those questions and comments coming!

My first question comes from a charming man named Joey (name changed to protect the debauched), who has given me permission to respond in a blog post.

Joey writes:

Same old burning question: Can a spanko and vanilla make it work, or are you always left wanting more?

After speaking with a fair number of spanko men married to vanilla women, and myself once married to an essentially vanilla-turned-pseudo-spanko (the physical act of spanking was there, but the psychological component was lacking), the short answer to this is, “You can make it work; but yes, you will always want more.”

Spanking is not just about sex — in fact for a lot of spankos it’s not about sex at all, but rather the power play. Even if you can convince your partner that the pain can be pleasurable (physiologically speaking this is true due to an increased blood flow in the loins area), the essential desire for a spanking will never quite be there.

Spankos understand the psychological dynamic between the top and bottom — they yearn for it. The air between spanko partners positively sizzles with promise during even the most mundane tasks: a knowing look; a strategically placed, bratty tongue in public; a subtle pat to the bottom while standing in line.

All of these nuances are lost on a vanilla. It’s impossible to have this kind of interaction without the vanilla faking it — and even that will grow old after awhile.

Having said this, you chose your partner for other reasons and you likely knew that spanking wasn’t in the future. Hold onto those other reasons, remain as loyal as you can to that person you love. And remember, even two spankos who have found each other are not guaranteed a happily ever after. There is much more that passes between a couple than the sexual dynamic behind closed doors, and much stronger glue that binds people together.

Also, don’t forget to participate in our community. You are not alone. We all derive much pleasure from watching a naughty bottom get spanked on the internet or from sharing our thoughts on blogs. And when we stop typing, we use our fingers for other nefarious purposes…

I encourage more great questions from readers. Please be sure to tell me whether I can post responses here or if you’d prefer a private emailed response.

Note to readers: Duct tape can only hold a computer together for so long. Mine is finally being fixed by a real professional and I will be offline for a few days. I pinky promise to respond to comments upon my return.

%d bloggers like this: