To the parking attendant in Indy:
I’m sorry that we stole your “park” paddle but we definitely needed it more than you. You’ll be happy to know that my naughty bottom received a taste of it later in the form of a smack that rang out through the camper, jolting our hosts from their slumber.
(Perhaps you heard it too and mistook it for cracks of thunder?)
In the actual theft of the paddle, I maintain my innocence. My Dom caught me quite by surprise when he pulled it out from the couch cushions and ordered my panties down. Still, I did not return it to you the next morning (oh, how I wish that I did!) so I am complicit in the crime. I expect to receive my comeuppance shortly, so I hope this transgression can remain between us.
Your red-bottomed camper,