The Spank Felt ‘Round the World

11 May

A girl, a toy, and a voice on the phone.

How many times have I swung my own implement while a voice on the phone commanded, “Harder! Faster!”?
I shall never tell (aka, “more than I’ll ever admit”). But I will say this: it takes a lot of wrist strength to keep the session going strong — and a lot of willpower not to swap your bottom with a raw steak…not that I’ve done that.
I predict an alternative to those of us who find themselves in long-distance spanking relationships.
Our Japanese friends have created something…odd: a kissing machine that transmits your partner’s tongue movements from afar. He parries left; she dodges right. It’s kissing without that nasty business of germ-sharing.

Full article here.
You know where I’m going with this, right?
It will only be a matter of time before a spanko, far more brilliant than I, invents a spanking machine that can be controlled via computer. The closest thing is this, a program that delivers spankings from as near or far as necessary with a click of the mouse.

Who needs X-ray impulses when we have technology?

This would be different in a big way — both spanker and spankee would play their parts. The spanker would swing his paddle (much like a Wii tennis racket) and the trembling receiver would feel it with her own machine hundreds of miles away. The spanker hits harder; the spankee lets out a yowl of discomfort.
So get to it, my entrepreneurial friends. Although, I’m not sure which would embarrass me more: a spanking by my own hand or one powered by a man in Timbuktu?
Either way, a steak sounds tasty.

16 Responses to “The Spank Felt ‘Round the World”

  1. bree512 May 11, 2011 at 4:14 am #

    OOOHHHH!!!! That would be so cool!!! Or should I say hot? giggles

    I won’t admit to anything else, though. Hehe.

    One problem, though, I need the aftercare and lots of hugs and cuddles after. No type of machine could provide that.

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 6:39 am #

      I totally agree. Nothing replaces that close contact of intimacy.

      However, this could do in a pinch. 😉

  2. wordsmith May 11, 2011 at 4:38 am #

    Hmmm…but what if a TOP virus infected the computers, and “enhanced” the effects? Tippy type, Tippy type, Toppy type…

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 6:41 am #

      …and a whole new genre of spanking horror fiction would be born.

  3. Season May 11, 2011 at 6:48 am #

    This is two days in a row you have me blushing!!!!!!! 😳 Pink! Not confessin’ a thing, but I’ll be so glad when Michael and I aren’t long distance any more. :mrgreen:

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 7:06 am #

      Admit nothing…deny everything. (But enjoy your phone spankings until you & Michael are together! SOON!)

  4. D May 11, 2011 at 7:51 am #

    This could bring back the old AT&T long distance ad campaign to: Reach out and touch someone.

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 8:37 am #

      Ooh…Reach out & Spank Someone. Our commercials would be much better.

  5. Raven Red May 11, 2011 at 4:18 pm #

    I am off to a rather hasty prayer session…prevention of steak spanking and some nasty remote thingy doing the same.

    I do not think it is a good idea at all – have you ever watched a man with a remote in his hand – he HAS to press all the buttons available.

    And in a spanking remote thingy if all those buttons are connected to different implements…

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

      Hahaha…very true. But this isn’t a remote at all. It’s just a paddle that he swings and transmits a signal to the receiving device to swing at the same force.

      But yeah…I think Tops would need to take a test before being permitted one of these machines.

  6. dd May 11, 2011 at 4:27 pm #

    The kissing machine is just plain euughhh! Reminds me of the dentists but ickier!

    The spanko-matic machine *boggle eyed* Whilst I can appreciate that I am very lucky not to often be in a long distant relationship with BBH, I really can’t see how progamming a computer can replicate the intimacy of a spanking. Incidentally that long paddle seems far too low down on the girl on the left.

    No, Pink, I think your idea of a wii type function, operated via Skype is best, go spec, project manage, invent!

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 6:22 pm #

      I think so too. I wish I had the technical wherewithal to do it. I’m sure some mad Top scientist is already at work on something similar (and if s/he sees this, will be quite displeased). Best leave the tech nerds to do their thing.

      That kissing thing is…gross. Did you see that they are working on making it more life-like? Instead of a straw, they will have a tongue-like thing and respiration. Freaky.

  7. dd May 11, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

    Pink, the tongue thingamighinghy is so totally uck I don’t even want to contemplate it!

    Incidentally, I was noticing that all the Tops in the Northern hemisphere seem to be getting Toppier, I do hope D isn’t suffering from this seasonal malady. It’s too late to rescue BBH, he has it big time 🙂

    • Barely Pink May 11, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

      Well, D took my reference to giving myself 4 little smacks as a cue that he no longer needs to do my warm-ups. So, yeah, I’d say the Toppy virus is spreading!

  8. Brett May 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Not thrilled by the kiss thing, at least for kissing. But I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of spanking machines, whether used for self-discipline, or even better when controlled by the disciplinarian. The greater sophistication, programmability, accuracy, and remote capability is a tank full of fuel for my imagination. For both sex and spanking we use all sorts of toys and implements, so I see the machine as just a more advanced device. A machine that includes restraints adds bondage elements, and similar to the remote kissing device, imagine what could be done with vibrators and the like. Whether your partner is there hands-on, or thousands of miles away, they could be in control. For those who use safe words, the machine just needs a safe button. 🙂

    • Barely Pink May 12, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

      It is rather appealing, isn’t it?

      A husky voice on speaker phone, commanding her into position. Him, watching her on webcam as he swings and sees the faraway machine mimic his movement. Her response.

      Yeah, I could dig it.

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