Seven Habits of Highly Spankable People

4 May

Let’s face it: spanking can suck.
Have you ever dragged your feet around the kitchen, waiting for him to realize that there’s a willing bottom present? Or sighed loudly and emphatically, hoping to get his attention, only to be answered with a snore on the pillow beside you?
Every relationship has its lulls, but perhaps it’s time to recharge. Perhaps it’s time to be spankable.
1. We are inquisitive. New methods, new implements, new positions — we read about them and add them to our to-do lists. Although steeped in tradition, spanking is not formulaic and we seek ways to keep the excitement alive.
2. We are confident. Sure, our bottoms may not be as round, small, squishy or toned as we’d like. We can concentrate on the pleasures of spanking instead of obsessing about the angle that best complements our bodies. Give us a tight pair of pants and we can work those buns in a mouth-watering dance– and we know it. This makes us super-sexy and infinitely spankable.

3. We seek opportunity. We are always on the ready for a well-spanked bottom, whether the conditions are ideal or not. A public bench is not so public at 2 am (or 2 pm depending on where you are). A backseat doubles as a hotel room in a spanking emergency. Guests are coming in 30 minutes? Time enough for the hairbrush. We are game.
4. We think of spanking often. A shapely bottom in front of us, a casual phrase spoken in the office, the way our panties hug our cheeks, all arouse desire within us. That desire is communicated through lip twists, hair twirls, and flushed cheeks, which greatly increase our spankability.
5. Our wit is sharp. Rarely do we neglect the chance for a kind-hearted challenge during a discussion about mundane affairs. Some may call this bratting. I do not. I call it spankifying.

6. We are passionate. Eating, sleeping, laughing, loving, living — you name it, we attack it. This vibrancy attracts people to us and increases our spanking appeal.
7. We move to tease. Understanding that spankos are highly visual and tactile beings, we strive to appear touchable and inviting. It is not an accident that you saw the tops of our thigh highs when we bent to pick up the newspaper. Nor is it an accident that we dropped the paper in the first place.
You won’t find the most self-explanatory way to achieve complete spankability on this list. It’s too obvious to warrant a number: just ask.
There is nothing as spankable as a bottom asking a willing partner to spank her (or him). It works nearly every time.

27 Responses to “Seven Habits of Highly Spankable People”

  1. Hedone May 4, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

    Miss Pink another wonderful writing.

    I strive to be a highly spankable person and shall adhere to the principles outlined in this post.

    As a woman with a spankable bottom, I feel it is my responsibility…no my obligation to uphold my spankability, and be at the ready for spanking. By contributing my bottom (offering it up) I am improving the quality of life of my willing spanker. Not to mention putting me in the right frame of mind to achieve any thing I set my mind to.


    • Barely Pink May 4, 2011 at 10:45 pm #

      You, Hedone, are “spankable” defined.

      It is a pleasure to see one taking her obligations so seriously. It would be a shame to see your talents go to waste. 🙂

  2. crankyspanker May 4, 2011 at 11:43 pm #

    Really love this list from top to bottom!


    • Barely Pink May 5, 2011 at 6:12 am #

      No photos of men in tutus to spoil the end on this one. 😉

  3. Erica May 5, 2011 at 1:40 am #

    Great list, wonderful descriptions, as always.

    You know… I consider myself spankable, but I cannot ask. I just can’t. I’ll express my desire in myriad not-in-so-many-words ways, but come right out and ask? Nope.

    • Barely Pink May 5, 2011 at 6:10 am #

      You are most definitely spankable.

      Expressing yourself in not-so-many-words is asking. Isn’t it? I think it is. I tend to beat around the bush. “Isn’t there something we should be doing?” “Don’t you think I’ve been a little… naughty today?” Etc. It’s asking. I think. 🙂

  4. Wordsmith May 5, 2011 at 3:46 am #

    Thank you Pink for helping us out so much. I’ve taken a copy of that last pic in case I forget what a spankable person looks like. No more embarrassing mistakes in the supermarket!

    • Barely Pink May 5, 2011 at 6:31 am #

      You’re in for some disappointment, Wordsmith. I don’t think you’ll ever find a woman in a garter belt and knee highs while in the grocery store. 😛

  5. dd May 5, 2011 at 5:36 pm #

    Sorry, Pink, I don’t hang around the kitchen waiting for a spanking, if the younger members of the household are elsewhere, I’m more likely to be upstairs saying…”no, but, it was only…” mind you Top teasing is the most fun of all 🙂

  6. Raven Red May 6, 2011 at 8:23 am #

    Love to read your blog, apart from all the wonderful advice, I can now firmly declare in the future, that I am NOT bratting, I am SPANKIFYING.

    I will add the “so there!” – I am quite sure that it will most definitely have instant results! 😀


    • Barely Pink May 6, 2011 at 10:59 am #

      Haha, I love the “so there”, although that might fall firmly under the heading of “bratting” and will most certainly win you results.

      Gosh, I love all these spankable people.

  7. Lea May 6, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    “It is not an accident that you saw the tops of our thigh highs when we bent to pick up the newspaper. Nor is it an accident that we dropped the paper in the first place.”

    Lol, love it! I do hate to have to directly ask for a spanking. I’m more likely to pull the woman thing of beating around the bush, like laying myself across my husband’s lap while he’s trying to play WoW. 🙂

    • Barely Pink May 7, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

      Ha, that works, too. It’s asking without actually saying the word.

      I’m most likely to pout, although I do ask once in awhile. He rarely gives me opportunity to ask as we don’t see each other more than every other week. So we usually have one thing on the top of our shared priorities: a pink bottom for me.

    • Corrective Measures May 15, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

      I do hope you husband plays a Warlock when playing World of Warcraft. That is the only reason to play that game. Warlocks get a Succubus Demoness Minion who moans, wiggles her butt and reaches back and spanks herself about every 15 seconds.

      • Barely Pink May 15, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

        There’s a reason to play World of Warcraft? News to me. 😛

  8. Hermione May 14, 2011 at 7:13 am #

    That was great! I hated the original book (we were force-fed it at the office) but your version is something I would gladly post on my wall.


    • Barely Pink May 14, 2011 at 11:25 am #

      The original version was a bit preachy, wasn’t it? Although I suppose that’s the nature of most self-help books: preach the obvious.

      Thanks, Hermione!

      • Season May 15, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

        Let’s not be too hasty on old Stephen Covey. He did, after all, coin the phrase “start with the end in mind.” 😉

      • Barely Pink May 15, 2011 at 12:46 pm #

        Ah, yes. “Start with the end in mind” is a habit of successful top, for sure!

        Do you think Covey is secretly a Top?

      • Season May 15, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

        He was definitely a Top, Pink! He said “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

        1. Seek first to understand: “Pink, why have you been so naughty lately?”

        2. Then to be understood: “Spank spank spank spank spank”


      • Barely Pink May 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

        You’re so right. That is total Top protocol!

        Wonder if Steven Covey is single? 😉

  9. Hermione May 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

    What we noticed about Covey’s book was the noticeable lack of a bibliography. He obviously took some of his material from other sources, but failed to acknowledge them.

    • Barely Pink May 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

      So was that a case of the ends justifying the means?

      Joking aside, that’s incredibly unprofessional and it seems hypocritical for someone to do that and then preach about how to be successful. It sort of teaches the wrong lesson, doesn’t it?

    • Season May 15, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

      I agree – highly dishonest to not cite sources. And I hate when companies/organizations get dogmatic about every new management fad that comes along. Remember the One Minute Manager? Hey! Now there’s a post idea – the One Minute Spanker. :mrgreen:

      • Barely Pink May 15, 2011 at 3:32 pm #

        LOL…great post idea! And the research doesn’t seem too strenuous. 😛

        In sales it was, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Barf.


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    […] Perv on over and check out Pink’s fabulous “Seven Habits of Highly Spankable People.” […]

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