Two Whacks Later…

1 May

It seemed like a good idea: steel handle with reinforced silicone, nice thud factor. It was no doubt over-qualified for turning fish and pancakes.
The woman at the check-out aisle thought so, too, giving her palm a tentative smack with the turner.
“Sturdy,” she concluded. I blushed and agreed.
I placed it on his pillow after unloading the rest of the groceries, opened a beer and took a decadent shower while imagining the fun of the evening.
Three hours and two exuberant whacks later, we discovered that, in this case, looks are deceiving.

I still have the receipt and am contemplating returning the broken item.
“As you can see, this turner is not the highest quality. Instead of replacing it with another one, can I exchange it for a set of wooden spoons?”

12 Responses to “Two Whacks Later…”

  1. Erica May 1, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    LOL! Can you say “cheap,” boys and girls?

    So if you return it, you gonna tell how it got broken? 😀

    • Barely Pink May 1, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

      Haha, I might as well, if I’m telling them that I want to exchange it for a set of wooden spoons while wearing a full-scale blush. 🙂

  2. steve May 1, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

    I wonder whose face woud be redder if the truth were told at the return desk.

    • Barely Pink May 1, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

      You know, if it were a male cashier, I’d bet he would blush harder. I just remember the time I had a male cashier do a price check on KY Jelly. He couldn’t have been redder.

  3. Dioneo May 1, 2011 at 10:45 pm #

    You’re probably out of luck because I’d bet using something for spanking voids the warranty. You might want to write a letter of complaint directly to the manufacturer, however. You’d be doing them a service: they might not be aware of the non-standard applications of their product. I’m sure they’d want to know that they need to tweak their design to serve every customer well.

    At least I’m sure you’ve learned your lesson here: high-quality tools/implements usually have a single piece of material throughout.

    • Barely Pink May 1, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

      Oh, that’s a great idea, Dioneo…writing a letter to the manufacturer!

      This particular turner DID have a single piece throughout, of metal that reinforced the silicone. Really weak metal, I guess. I know my buns are strong, but they’re not literally of steel!

  4. Brett May 2, 2011 at 12:26 am #

    They just don’t make kitchen utensils slash spanking implements like they used to.

    • Barely Pink May 2, 2011 at 9:08 am #

      And they don’t sell razor strops in the grocery store, either.

  5. Raven Red May 2, 2011 at 4:03 am #

    I think if these kitchen utensil manufacturers realise how multi purpose their gadgets are, they will be making a fortune. Imagine going shopping:
    Said utentsils on display, On the one side label above: Strictly to turn over fish
    Next row’s label: Strictly spanking only.
    (small writing: can be used to turn over fish, however, the manufacturer does not accept responsbility for damages or injuries caused in using utensils in any other way for what it was manufactured for)

    • Barely Pink May 2, 2011 at 9:14 am #

      Ha, love that there would be a warning label on the gadgets if they were to be used in the kitchen. 😛

  6. Cruel Intentions May 2, 2011 at 5:34 am #

    Pink I was told a story by a woman I once knew and it goes like this.

    This girl while working at a small town drug store at the tender age of 16 One day she saw a young man lingering near the cash until all other customers were finished. He approached the cash and place a package of condoms on the counter. It was his unfortunate luck that they were not priced. Having never seen a package of condoms before she read the label loudly and called clearly to the pharmacist/owner at the rear of the store

    Mr.Connolly how much are the prophylactics !

    Pink as for your fish turner I suggest you go industrial.

  7. crankyspanker May 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

    I am so glad that you are put together better than that spatula, after all you could have an intact spatula and a busted .. well you know.


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