Capital Letter Me

21 Apr

sub·mis·sive:
 
meekly obedient or passive

I’ll admit, I have an attraction to labels. The label-maker at work provides hours of entertainment: staples, paperclips, and client files all have a home and I am the proud owner of a well-organized desk.
 
It’s tempting to squeeze everything and everyone into safe, little containers with bold words etched above them. In theory, I’ll know what to expect before I even investigate the desk drawer, will be able to safely navigate potentially awkward situations.
 
But what happens when the staples are where the pens should be, and the pens are nowhere to be found?
 
By dictionary definition, I am not a submissive. I am not meek, passive, nor particularly obedient — and certainly not ‘meekly obedient’ as I unfailingly state my case even when I have no case.
 
Submission was uncomfortable at first because the commonly held definition didn’t fit me. I wasn’t submissive enough. I wasn’t doing it right. I didn’t fall in line, and, like a kinky curl in an otherwise straight head of hair, I waited to be found out and plucked.
 
To any Tom, Dick, or Harry, I do not submit. I will not call an anonymous man ‘Sir’ unless it’s a punchline to a joke. I will not kneel simply because it’s expected. Nor will I do that funny thing with punctuation for anyone (even for the person to whom I’m submitting) because I, personally, think it’s an affront to the English language.
 
My label-maker and dictionary have suffered similar fates: relegated neatly to the cabinet labeled ‘office supplies’. They have little purpose in my personal life. Despite what they say, I am a submissive.
 
I am Pink, with a capital P, even while on my knees.

19 Responses to “Capital Letter Me”

  1. steve April 21, 2011 at 2:15 am #

    and thankfully so.

  2. Zelle April 21, 2011 at 3:26 am #

    Hi Pink.. ‘with a capital P’

    I’m Zelle.. ‘with a capital Z’..

    Nice to meet another alpha sub. 🙂

    • steve April 21, 2011 at 7:20 am #

      where exactly would one acquire a pack of subs?

      • Zelle April 21, 2011 at 7:25 am #

        “Danger! Danger! “Steve Robinson”! ..hahaha!

        Don’t you know that would be a SUBstantial accident lookin’ for a place to happen if you had ALL CHIEFS and no INDIANS? LOLOLOL!

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

      You’re an alpha sub? I never would have guessed. 😉

  3. Raven Red April 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm #

    Well, I suppose I come with a capital R. The last time someone try to enforce “respect” and try to make me address him as “Sir”, I could not look at him. Everytime I did, I had a fit of giggles.

    Oh, and I had this “lovely” Dom that called me a couple of names once. My response was quick and immediate, and family roots, brain capacity and evolution theories were neatly laid out for him.

    I loved this Miss Pink.

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 10:56 pm #

      Nice, Raven. I can just picture the sort of dressing down you give. I bet you’re great at it! (That is a compliment, btw.)

      I’ve always been of the opinion that if someone desperately needs titles and capitalization to feel secure in his/her role, then they have a tenuous grasp on the role. I might be wrong and I’m certainly not going to say that that is the truth for everyone. It’s just how I see it.

  4. Nolens Volens April 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    I once had a friend who tried so hard to get me to be a dom to her online. I told her that I’d rather do that in person because I wanted to see every little thing…her expression, her body language, etc. She then tried to get me to be a sub…online. LOL

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

      OMG…that is priceless, Nolens!

      So…how’d you like being an online sub? 😉

  5. dd April 21, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

    mmm, I am submissive to one but not to many. dd, lower case always, but, birth name Capitals all the way through!

    The Oxford Concise Dictionary has a slightly more apposite definition: “willing to submit, yeilding to power or authority”. Or on submit, even better, “surrender oneself for control”; “present for consideration or decision”.

    Being a pedant, I had to go and find the dictionary instead of googling it 🙂

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

      I do like those definitions much better than the one that I sited from Webster’s online, because they indicate choice versus lack of will.

      I started off in lower case. And then it felt more ceremonious to me than genuine. So I stopped.

      I do want to make it clear that this post wasn’t intended to define how other people should view submission — in fact, the opposite. I’ve been having a hard time expressing myself (due to personal circumstances) so I’m not sure how clear I am lately.

      What I appreciate most is that each of us has our own definitions. Some live for the rules and ceremony. And I applaud anyone who knows what he/she wants and goes for it.

      🙂

      Still muddled. My apologies.

  6. Brett April 21, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    I think submission means a lot more when you’re not submissive. The willing choice to submit, not by force. To me, anyway.

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

      In total agreement there. Submission in body only is not nearly as satisfying to the receiver as submission in both body and mind.

  7. D April 21, 2011 at 7:20 pm #

    Having an airhead sub may be fine for a weekend Dom but I want a sub with brains AND beauty.

    A sub who doesn’t need to be micro managed but enjoys the occasions when it happens.

    A sub with brains, who understands the need to physically and mentally exercise their submissive nature in a healthy way IS worthy of respect.

    That’s MY PINK, in capital letters.

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

      …not to say that another type of submission is unhealthy. It just wouldn’t be healthy for me. I’m thankful to have found a Dom who simultaneously accepted and pushed my submission. I have learned much and am so grateful.

  8. dd April 21, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

    D, that is wonderfully expressed, who wants average when they could have extraordinary?

    • Barely Pink April 21, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

      He has a wonderful way of expressing a wide range of things. Sometimes I wish he was less well-spoken…you know, in those ‘oops’ moments. 🙂

  9. dd April 22, 2011 at 5:43 am #

    Pink, I know those ‘oops’ moments rather too well!

    Don’t worry, you weren’t sounding muddled, to me at any rate. Submission is different to everyone, but dd is the only lower case thing about me!

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