The Sub with Three Thumbs

12 Apr

In my ongoing war with the bath brush, my bottom is not the only loser. D nearly broke my pinkie finger. Correction: I was responsible for D nearly breaking my pinkie finger.
D’s impromptu command for me to fetch the bath brush, just moments before our long road trip to the ocean, had me searching his face for intent. His voice had been different then. This wasn’t play.
He informed me that my grumpy attitude of the past week needed to stop. I argued, saying that it wasn’t “grumpy” so much as “snarky” — for you word-lovers out there, there is a keen difference.
D apparently hates words.
With no time for debate, he immediately maneuvered me over the back of the couch and delivered brisk, walloping swats. Not having had a proper warm-up, nor a proper spanking for quite some time, each blow with the brush was almost unendurable. I did not like it. No, I did not. (I should insert here that my panties later told a different story about my “enjoyment” of the bath brush.)

I’m not dumb enough to consciously block the blows from that wooden bully. While silently cursing my assailant, I am quite aware that the best defense is no offense. Be still. Play dead. Don’t move lest the brush find its mark on my upper thighs or, gasp, between my legs.
Awareness does not equal obedience.
When the brush struck my disobedient hand, it cast a magical spell in my living room. In addition to the stars and white light that appeared before my eyes, I was the sub with three thumbs. I could have taken that show on the road — and did, wasting little time on first aid, when we left for our trip.
Let it be a testament to my quick reflexes, and how strong my natural defenses are, that my hand courageously stood up for the underdog.
That pinkie finger may normally be the smallest appendage on my body, but it has the heart of a lion. An extremely foolish and swollen, pink lion.

27 Responses to “The Sub with Three Thumbs”

  1. D April 12, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

    Pink, when it comes to remaining gracefully in position, you’re all thumbs. BTW, you weren’t the only one suffering from post-spank swelling…..

    • Barely Pink April 12, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

      Funny how a nearly broken pinkie finger distracted me so much that I didn’t even notice that detail.

      Admittedly, staying in position is not one of my strengths. Ever hear of rope? 😉

  2. Erica April 12, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    Ouch ouch OUCH! Poor Pink, and poor pinkie! I’m glad it’s not broken. Imagine explaining THAT one…

    • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 12:18 pm #

      I hadn’t even thought of explaining that one…I second that!

  3. Sierra April 12, 2011 at 11:18 pm #

    Ooo… that sounds painful! I make sure never to block any attempts to swat me.. it would never end well. Not only would my hand hurt… but so would my ass after he was done with it. I’ll just take one lol

    • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

      LOL…I know. If we hadn’t been short on time, I’m sure there would have been some reprimands after I iced the injury. The silver lining was that the bathbrush was abandoned before all of the layers came down!

      • Sierra April 14, 2011 at 4:21 pm #

        It’s the little things in life 🙂

  4. Zelle April 13, 2011 at 1:14 am #

    Hey.. a gal can only be expected to withstand so much! Reflex, not will to put a hand back.. but natural “protect your azz” mode comes into play! Tops should know this.. and take that into consideration when wielding those more “stern” implements. Good lord,.. this IS why god made rope after all!

    Poor little Pink’s-pinky! I hope he waited on you hand and foot-hand, over knee from that point forward. (grins)

    • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

      Ha. Yes, I’m making my case well for restraints, aren’t I? Could there be an ulterior motive at work, here? I’ll never tell. 😛

      • Zelle April 13, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

        I would refer to this as a “topping from the bottom” PSA from Pink!

      • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 5:36 pm #

        You trying to get me in trouble? 😉

  5. Em April 13, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    I did that once with a toe and a wooden paddle… ouch! Oor Pink, I gore you hit much sympathy and were well spoiled after that.

    • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

      Oh my, that poor toe! I can only imagine! Yeah, he felt badly afterward, despite it being entirely my fault. (Which it was, really. I know better than that.)

  6. Cruel Intentions April 13, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    Pink Oucchh ! That smarts I once hit my thumb twice in one hour with a 20 oz framing hammer. I never did find it I threw it so far into the brush.
    Aside from my recent comments concerning ducttape and its effectiveness. I have found that a roll of electrical tape much better for such situations.
    It is small enough to carry around with you, quick to deploy and doesn’t leave a sticky residue behind. Plus it is a great reminder when you are told to keep a roll in your purse.


    • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

      Oooh, I like the way your mind works. I’ve added another tool to my purse then. Alongside the brush I will carry electrical tape. If anyone asks, I’ll just say that I want to be like MacGuyver.

      (And…ouch with the hammer!)

      • Cruel Intentions April 13, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

        Pink or maybe for D’s benefit.. hands in front interlock the fingers. Thumbs up and side by side, two wraps around the thumbs two around the double fists viola’ Plus the added bonus of that lovely vinyl smell.

        Think of it as an inept knot tying Shabari substitute the possibilities are endless.

      • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

        Oh, I like that. Sort of. I think?


  7. Brett April 13, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Painful pinkies are not a turn on. Unless maybe if one is a true sadist/masochist.

    Bath brushes, paddles, and the like can be dangerous, but you shouldn’t have to be into bondage to be safe. I hope your little lion is well on the mend. XO

    • Barely Pink April 13, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

      My little lion is back to its normal size and duties, thanks. We are definitely not true sadists/masochists but I have received warning that holding position will become more important in the future…or else!

  8. dd April 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm #

    Oh, Pink, your poor little finger! At least it saved you from having to sit for hours on a sore posterior, as I had to recently! That same trip, I also inadvertently reached back and got the leather paddle walloped on my palm, sore has nothing to do with it. Just told to get back in position and he bought Japanese bondage rope later that day *sigh*

    • Barely Pink April 18, 2011 at 10:07 pm #

      I have to admit, I sort of like how your man thinks. 🙂

  9. Dioneo April 14, 2011 at 10:41 pm #

    Nice lion! He must be from the 80s. Sorry about the pinkie. I hope it has healed and is back to doing all those things pinkies do.

    I agree “grumpy” and “snarky” are different, but I should say being snarky is a more spankeable attitude. “Grumpy” is a personal state of mind, but doesn’t “snarky” refer to how you interact with others? In other words, “snarky” is dangerously close to “bratty.” Just a thought…

    • Barely Pink April 18, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

      Ha, I don’t disagree at all. He had every reason to spank me. I just wanted to clarify my position.

      My position was made clear while I was bent over the couch. 🙂

      (And, yes, that lion does look decidedly 80s!)

  10. Raven Red April 17, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

    Miss Pink

    It is not that I am laughing at you, because I am not – but your very funny description was just what the doctor ordered for a morbid soul in the southern tip of Africa.
    So, when you hear the laughter – know that I am laughing with you.
    And know that I do hope that the little lion has restored to her rightful size!



    • Barely Pink April 18, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

      No offense taken whatsoever, Raven. We need not take this spanking business so seriously that we cannot laugh at ourselves when we’re foolish. I should add that my hands have been ever so obedient since this incident.

  11. Red April 17, 2011 at 5:50 pm #

    Spankings for grumpiness always work. However, it would have been better for everyone if it happened the first day you were grumpy. Unfortunate for the finger. Hope it is better soon.

    • Barely Pink April 18, 2011 at 10:13 pm #

      It was a full week of unfettered snarkiness — something that an out-of-town relationship makes possible. It is too bad, because a little OTK time cures me of that mood pretty quickly and could have saved my friends and loved ones nearer to me some frustration.

      The finger is much better, thank you — more obedient, but still carrying a lot of attitude. 😛

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