Give Me Your Pits & Thorns

28 Mar

I have a problem — well, several I’ve been told, but only one is on my mind right now.
Wooden paddles notwithstanding, I’ve never met an implement I didn’t like (even amid vehement protests). Consequently, my review site is looking all peaches & roses, when I really need some pits & thorns.
What I need is some crankiness — someone a little miffed that his paddle broke on the first swing, or that her vibrator wakes the neighbors. Perhaps you’ve already written about it? Perhaps it’s on your blog, waiting to be published again on The Pink Reviews (with full credit, of course)?

I’m open for submission and I’d love your input. Email me your sexy tales of triumphs and woes with kinky products or pervertables: literature, spanking movies, implements, restraint systems — that beer bottle that was used to…well, you know. (Scratch the beer bottle, and its accompanying photos.)
A few caveats: keep it safe, sane and consensual, as I know all of you will. To insure honest reviews, no money will be made from this site. It is purely for the sexification of our public.
That’s right. Sexification. Look it up — you won’t find it in the dictionary.
Be sure to give Zelle some good girl love for creating the header graphic on the review site. Isn’t it cool?

22 Responses to “Give Me Your Pits & Thorns”

  1. steve March 28, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

    all I can say is don’t use a walmart belt to spank with. I also think a 3/8″ dowel rod beats a cane.

    what I find hard to believe is your call or help.

    • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 6:24 pm #

      What’s wrong with Wal-Mart? 😉

      All I can say is I am but one girl in a world full of pervertable possibilities. It’d be cool to have some other voices and input — I might learn something. Or teach D something! *snort*

      • steve March 28, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

        nothing intrinsically wrong with wally world. Just their bets don’t hold up to ahhh daily use. A good thing about the cheap blinds one finds there is the come with these really cool plastic rods for adjustment. Both attitudinal and blinds.

      • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 7:29 pm #

        …adjustments…both attitudinal and blinds.

        Remind me never to have you speak to D! Those blind rods are killer — maybe worse than bamboo or rattan. And they are way too readily available, which makes them attractive to you devious Tops.

        I’m thinking I should just remove them and live with my blinds shut. Remove the temptation.

      • Steve March 29, 2011 at 2:07 am #

        Remove them, shut your blinds!!!!!!!!!! Oh lord help poor D. Besides where’s the fun in that?

      • Barely Pink March 29, 2011 at 8:05 am #

        Oh yes…poor D, being deprived of his blind rods. Tragic. 😛

  2. Zelle March 28, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

    You’re just the sweetest lil “Pink-ster” in all the land! You’re what makes me want to create – cause all of your blogs just stimulate this alpha mind!!! I love how you review products! You turn wicked into ‘wanton’ so fast that booties up-end themselves with a mere glance in their direction! ROFLMAO! Ya little wordsmith YOU! 🙂

    • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 6:27 pm #

      Oh…see, now you’re thinking up tag lines for me: turning wicked into wanton one whip at a time.

      Really, though, you went way above and beyond. All one dozen (or more) of the headers you created were excellent. I am continually amazed by your creativity and graciousness.

  3. Zelle March 28, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

    It’s like this Pink… YOU GAVE TO ME… with all your write.. it was just my own little way of paying back that kindness… (smiles) .. and thanks you for the kind words as well!

    • Zelle March 28, 2011 at 6:39 pm #

      .. that’s “with all you write”… (rolls eyes at self).. I need a keeper… You got another “D” handy that ya could loan me? LOL

      • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

        I’m not sure the bottoms of this world could handle another D. 🙂 Of course I’m kidding, and he did make that offer to show his appreciation for your hard work…Haha…maybe you can have another top-by-proxy experience?

  4. dd March 28, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    Hmm, thinkinmking about this one, that camel whip comes to mind…

    • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 7:24 pm #

      Oh yes! Do it! That way D can’t say, “Well, you haven’t reviewed a whip yet, Pink. Let’s get to it.”


      I’m really only trying to help you. Really, I am.

  5. Zelle March 28, 2011 at 7:48 pm #

    omg! Another Top-by-proxy?! Well.. Michael’s lil FUNishment from afar was a rootin-tootin-hootin-annie for sure! Hmmm.. Boardwalk Badness is coming up.. LOL .. So? What happens when you’re a good girl?? (heehee)..

  6. D March 28, 2011 at 8:16 pm #


    No good deed should go unpunished. I’d be happy to give your cheeks a complimentary warming for all those custom headers (was it a dozen of the best?) you sent to Pink.

    BTW, ‘good’ girls get TWO spankings!


    • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

      …with a strap, of course. 🙂

      Two spankings? This is why I’m very, very good.

      • Zelle March 28, 2011 at 11:47 pm #

        omg… I believe a big yellow bus is in my view with that .. “with a strap, of course” comment! (EYES WIDE SHUT!!) .. LOL .. and I think I may have to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of 2 “good girl” spankings .. verse one “bad girl” spanking…. OKAY, that was long enough, I thought about it.. (momma didn’t raise no fool here).. The 2 GOOD GIRL spankings are… as Charlie Sheen says … **WINNNNN-ING!**


      • Barely Pink March 29, 2011 at 8:04 am #

        That is the best application of “Winnnnning” I’ve heard yet.

        Only in spanking is 2 less than 1. Smart choice, Zelle!

  7. Curvaceous Dee March 28, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

    Yes, I think my latest review – which I gave a 1/10 – is exactly what you’re after …

    Who let this dog out?

    xx Dee

    • Barely Pink March 28, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

      Wow, Dee…that is literally a stinker of a product! You really don’t mind if I reprint it?

  8. wordsmith March 29, 2011 at 1:44 am #

    Wow Pink, you are nearly a corporation now! Had a look at your review site. Hadn’t realised just how naughty you were, I’m shocked 😉

    • Barely Pink March 29, 2011 at 8:06 am #

      Me? Naughty? But being naughty is so much fun…

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