Good Girls Gone Bored

9 Mar

Whoever said there’s a thin line between love and hate never experienced a wooden paddle. That line is thick and it’s no secret which side I’m on.
Throw bath brushes, wooden hairbrushes, rulers, and all things that come from trees (well, paper might be a nice switch) on that fire while we’re at it.
Call me Ronald Reagan*: A paddle is a paddle. How many more do we have to look at?
So I’m looking for alternatives, since D insists on using more than just leather, crops and canes. (Really. Shouldn’t that be enough? Must I write a post on boys and their toys?)

Then it hit me: plastic. I’ve never been spanked with anything plastic.
Scouring my bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen drawers, in search of something to test on my curious cheeks, I found it — a plastic cutting board. Bright yellow, like a warning sign, it’s long and wide enough to cover my whole bottom.
Should I? Will I?
Well, the house is clean. The dishwasher is running and there is nothing to do, all by myself, in this last ho-hummery of Winter, except spank.
*Original quote from Ronald Reagan in 1966 as Governor of California, opposing expansion of Redwood National Park, reads, “A tree is a tree. How many more do we have to look at?”

27 Responses to “Good Girls Gone Bored”

  1. Emily Winters March 9, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    Another nice plastic is a broad spatula…mmmm…delicious!

  2. Barely Pink March 9, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

    You know…I’ve never been spanked with a plastic spatula either! And I have one…it’s suitably red. Oh, beautiful, boring evening.

    Thanks, Emily. (And welcome, it’s lovely to have you here.)

  3. Michael March 9, 2011 at 11:55 pm #

    A yellow board for the bored Pink. I see red being added to this color wheel. I once used a cutting board on Season while shopping. Gave her a resounding one-smacker in the Housewares aisle in a Target store which made her upper cheeks blush crimson as she looked around to see if anyone had seen her butt smack. No one had, I made sure of that before taking action.

    As Emily says, a plastic spatula makes a wonderful spanking implement, one I have used – a white one – on Season but in the privacy of home. Pink, I bet after D reads this your red spatula will be used as a color guide for when you are next over his lap. Lucky you. 😉

    Here’s the link to the story of when I spanked Season with the spatula.

    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 10:52 pm #

      You are such a rascal, Michael. (A quick one-swatter in public is just about the hottest thing ever.)

      I think D has some ideas about plastic, now. Funny thing about writing a blog? You can plant ideas without appearing to top from the bottom. (Which I don’t. Really. What fun would that be?)

  4. Anonymous March 10, 2011 at 1:37 am #

    Oh my! You so know he’s going to use it… Even if you’ve already took it for a test drive 😉

    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

      He totally is…

      Too bad I have to wait another week. (BTW, the cutting board really hurts! I couldn’t even get a good swing because it’s so big and heavy and I don’t have monkey arms. But, ouch!)

  5. Zelle March 10, 2011 at 1:55 am #

    Such a wonderful little blog to write when you’re feeling all “board” and stuff.. 🙂

    All wood should be used as kindling for all fires in fireplaces… 🙂

    Plastic is good! Here is my fav!


    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

      Oh! I’ve seen lots and lots of brushes like that at Target. I just added it to my shopping list. 🙂

  6. Gern Blandershphelt March 10, 2011 at 2:08 am #

    Poor deprived little thing…..

    I’ll have to send you one of these.

    Or these.

    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

      No, no, you don’t. Those look way worse than a bath brush!

      Downright wicked.

  7. D March 10, 2011 at 9:27 am #

    I’ve made toys from leather and wood, both feel good in my hand. They smell good too. And the sounds they create against the naked flesh up an upturned bottom is delightfully distinct.

    To make a plastic toy you need a mold. Plastic doesn’t feel as nice, it’s odorless and the sound is, well, artificial. I won’t say I haven’t used plastic and rubber implements very effectively on occasion but I will say they are simply not my preference.

    For you, Pink, I will temporarily set aside my preferences and use plastic to create heat on your seat as a special treat. Can you say ‘Lexan’?

    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

      I can say it, but can I handle it? It remains to be seen.

      Rubber? Hmmm. That sounds interesting, too. You’ve been holding out on me, D. 😉

  8. Hermione March 10, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    Yes, do try it!

    I find plastic spatulas not very effective but nice for a warmup. We have an evil spatula made of some sort of heavy, rigid plastic that’s worse than wood.


    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

      Oh, I could do with a warm up that lasts for about 30 minutes and then move on to the heavier stuff.

      I cannot imagine something worse than wood. Really. It’s unfathomable to me.

  9. Anonymous March 10, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    I agree, try it. How about a plastic ruler quite stingy.


    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:06 pm #

      Sounds like I need a big shopping trip! 🙂

      This is the fun kind of shopping…getting all tingly walking up and down the aisles of possibility.

  10. dd March 10, 2011 at 7:10 pm #

    Stingy, Ronnie? Stingy? Just watch it, Pink! My worst ever, ever bruising came from a 6 inch plastic ruler! Not a cane, not the camel whip, not the leather implements or any of the other weird and wonderful implements we have tested over time and travels, but a 6 inch flipping ruler! It wasn’t even a painful punishment spanking, or a discipline one, it was just an I am here and you are here and I feel like it sort of spanking!

    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:09 pm #

      It seems like it might be harsh, in terms of concentrated surface area. But the worst bruising ever? I might just have to try it to believe it.

  11. Erica March 10, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    Be careful what you wish for, darlin’. Some plastic (like Lexan) is NASTY!

    • Barely Pink March 10, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

      Yeah. And D already has his heart set on Lexan. Oh, this is gonna hurt.

  12. Raven Red March 12, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    Miss Pink

    You are brave. Very, very brave. Eh, and everytime you do find something new, I have to have accidentally destroy it…prevention is better than the cure! (GRIN)

  13. dd March 12, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    Raven, you may be able to destroy one plastic ruler, but it’s doppleganger can re-emerge very quickly!

    • Barely Pink March 12, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      And they’re CHEAP. I was just at the grocery store today and took a tour down the school supply aisle. Break one and another one will emerge. They also had a flexible plastic ruler that held possibilities.

  14. Raven Red March 13, 2011 at 1:48 am #

    Miss Pink

    You are NOT helping here…(GRIN)

  15. Zelle March 13, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    And my fellow imp-sters.. let’s not forget the ever formidable…click here –> Stainless steel Drafting ruler with the cork backing… it’s Flexible too.. can you say .. SMACKS!= OWWIEE!

  16. otk1959 March 13, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    Hi Pink, I have have made several plastic paddles…some thin some thick. Thin is stingy and thick is thuddy…LOL I would be more than happy to make you one! Check out my pics on Fetlife and let me know.


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