The Bluff

26 Nov

I need a dumber Dom.
The thing is, dear readers, that I am very often right. And when someone is very often right, that someone may just continue thinking that she is always right. And I am always right. Well, usually. Ok, sometimes.
There are instances when I can see things turning against me, however, and instead of immediate concession, I blaze on in my wrongness and employ the useful technique that I learned in sales: The Bluff.  The Bluff is most effective when coupled with made up statistics, quotes and obscure historical references that are hard to verify.
And, no, contrary to some people’s belief, a bluff is NOT inherently bad in nature. It is not. Back in 1862, when Prince Kung saved the Manchu dynasty, he told a bluff to the European Invaders that successfully negotiated the safety of the Imperial Throne. (Damn, I’m good.)
Unfortunately for me, The Bluff has recently coincided with every salesperson’s arch nemesis: The Blush.

No matter how authoritative and confident I make my voice (trust me, it’s a particular talent of mine), when I feel the heat infuse my face, I know that the argument has been lost and soon I will be shamed into admitting that I’m probably not right.
Admitting error is a physically painful endeavor for me, made more so by having a man in my life who, whenever he wishes, takes me over his knee and proceeds to forcefully make his point upon my posterior.

Yes, I need a dumber Dom.  I need someone who will be awed by my intelligence, rendered speechless by my grasp of history and statistics, a man who will unquestioningly believe any sort of bluffed fluff I set before him.
As it stands now, when The Bluff leads to The Blush, I end up blushing on both ends.  This will be the case tomorrow, when I pay for a bluff-gone-wrong.
Katharine Lee Bates, best known for writing the lyrics of “America The Beautiful” and less known for her poetry and creative writing, once stated, “A creatively told story should be rewarded as fact.”
So there. History is, indeed, on my side.

Edit to add: a few people have asked if Katharine Lee Bates was really quoted as saying that. And to that I answer, “She COULD have.” *Blush
Second edit: Be sure to check out Season’s brilliant companion piece over at Blossom and Thorn. D, you should most definitely not read it.

20 Responses to “The Bluff”

  1. Six of the best November 26, 2010 at 2:30 pm #

    The drawing below the word Bluff, is a most erotic one. Where the lady wearing an erotic garter-belt, attached to stockings is a most enjoyable viewing. I sure would love to give her ‘six of the best’ with a cane on her bare bottom.

  2. Kate November 26, 2010 at 4:44 pm #

    Pink…I too suffer from this affliction known as The Blush – it’s terribly unfair. I sometimes even blush for no reason at all and shudder to think how this may affect my bottom if/when I find a Dom, lol.

    If you find a cure, please share with your fellow Imps, it would be most appreciated. I send you warm hugs and whatever you prefer to cool your blushing bottom.

    • Barely Pink November 26, 2010 at 7:10 pm #

      Kate, I sometimes find myself blushing for no reason, and then I blush all the more. It is a terrible thing, this way our bodies betray us. It is an immediate bluff-detector.

      I think I shall look into that dreadful pancake make-up that the theatre folk use. I shudder at the thought of putting it on my face, but perhaps it will help when I know that The Bluff is imminent.

      I’ll keep you posted on the progress of that experiment.

      • Kate November 26, 2010 at 7:29 pm #

        Please do keep me posted, although I don’t think it will help me, as I cannot wear makeup in any form. Foiled again.

        I wonder if they could tell our bluffs without the bluff-detector? Hm.

  3. D November 26, 2010 at 7:04 pm #

    Pink, this is a timely confession, especially with the journal entries you owe me coming due today.

    • Barely Pink November 26, 2010 at 7:13 pm #

      Would you believe me if I told you that the dog ate my journals? You know, 82% of dogs like to eat paper, and my parents’ breed, in particular, enjoys it. He is, after all, a herding dog and herding dogs require cellulose to perform at their optimum.


      Eep. I’ll get them done.

  4. Michael November 26, 2010 at 7:05 pm #

    Pink, you have exactly the Dom you want and more importantly you need. And isn’t bluffing in essence fibbing, young lady?

    BTW, I do like your Facebook icon and definitely give it a thumbs up. I would like to think that is you filling out those graphic knickers. 😉

    • Barely Pink November 26, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

      Michael, I am not a Victoria’s Secret model, but would definitely like to imagine myself as one, too.

      Bluffing is not fibbing. No, sirree. It’s using the knowledge that you have in your databank and twisting it to the story you are trying to sell. Bluffing is a talent. Anyone can fib. Bluffing should be rewarded, no?

      (And you’re right…I have exactly the kind of Dom I need. Although, he could be the second sharpest knife in the drawer, if you know what I mean.)

  5. Em November 26, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    Pink, I blush all the time, even when I am telling the truth, and no one ever believes me. It is terrible!

    • Barely Pink November 27, 2010 at 12:15 am #

      I know. It is terribly unfair and not an accurate barometer of truth. I blush because I can, not because I’m guilty!

  6. Michael November 26, 2010 at 8:54 pm #

    Pink, you, Season and all the other imps in our universe are far more special and desirable than any Victoria’s Secret model, and I know D feels the same way. I absolutely am positive of that. I was only teasing in a cheeky sort of way which unfortunately fell flat.

    And very good example of bluffing with the dog ate your journals ploy. Even included a statistic. Did you know that 100% of all imps end up with red, ouchy bottoms, and that is not a statistic used for bluffing, that is a fact. It is a direct quote from Sir Rodney Palm from his memoirs dictated on his death bed in 1790 to his paramour, Marie Antoinette, who always referred to her lover and Dominant as “the Rod.”

    • Barely Pink November 27, 2010 at 12:18 am #

      I see you are very familiar with The Bluff, Michael. I don’t care if what you say is true, it is a lovely story so shall be treated as fact. See how reasonable I am? If it is not true, it should be — and you should get points for creating such a believable story! Now if only you Tops would extend the same courtesy… 🙂

      (And I knew you were joking…I was joking in return and it was my tone that fell flat.)

      And Kate, sometimes D thinks that I am bluffing even when I am not. He only catches me in my bluff because he’s constantly accusing me of it. He’s bound to get lucky once in awhile! It’s a matter of statistics. However, if we did not blush we would be much more compelling in our arguments, I think. Darn fair skin.

  7. Michael November 27, 2010 at 10:19 am #

    Yes, Pink, I see how reasonable you can be, and so shall extend you the same courtesy. How is your dog after eating your journals? I hope Fido doesn’t have a tummy ache.

    And good point that if D thinks you are bluffing all the time even when you are not he will catch you when you are bluffing. Sort of like a busted clock being right twice a day.

    Have a great weekend, and I hope you and D are getting together today or tomorrow.

    • Barely Pink November 27, 2010 at 11:59 am #

      Tonight, tonight, tonight…Oh, oh…. 🙂

      Hope you have a wonderful weekend as well, Michael!

  8. Michael November 27, 2010 at 5:00 pm #

    Let night fall swiftly.

  9. Season November 28, 2010 at 6:11 pm #

    Hi Pink! I created a helpful companion post for you on the physics of bluffing over on our blog.

    • Barely Pink November 28, 2010 at 6:28 pm #

      OMG, I love it Season.

      I mean, it’s terribly boring and D should in no way read it. He’d be bored silly.

      (Who can argue with Physics? It’s PERFECT.)

  10. Raven Red December 2, 2010 at 7:42 am #

    I have tried a Bluff with nonchalance….in front of a mirror – and immediately had the giggles, with blush shortly following.
    And with uncle Nick’s knowledge of history, science, philosophy…in actual fact everything, there is no hope at all..
    It will be my Waterloo.

  11. Barely Pink December 2, 2010 at 8:56 am #

    There must be something Nick doesn’t know about. Must be. Find it and become a self-proclaimed expert. 🙂

    Actually, I know what you say. D is just the same — blasted smart man.

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