Villains and Heroes

17 Nov

Ever since I was old enough for such things, I’ve had a rescue fantasy. 

I remember a conversation with my father on what would make my ideal man.

“He has to be taller and stronger than me,” I declared. When asked why, the only plausible answer was, “So he can save me.” (To which my father replied that he hoped I grew tall and strong enough to save myself…no fun, Dad.)

I did not elaborate on what the hero of my dreams would save me from — but I had visions of being tied, scantily clad, to the railroad with my imminent demise barreling down the tracks. My man would DASH and LEAP and do all manner of heroic things to free me from my fate. Even then, at so tender an age, I envisioned a lecture as he held me safely in his arms, and repercussions from putting myself, his most prized possession, in danger.

In my thirty-four years, I have not once been tied to railroad tracks. And I have yet to see a man dash and leap to my rescue. Thankfully neither scenario has occurred and I have gone on happily saving myself from life’s little mishaps.

But the rescue fantasy remains, seeing several evolutions from the original “knight in shining armor”.

During college it manifested as a yearning for a man to recognize my self-destructive behavior and intervene, taking me firmly but lovingly by the arm and guiding me toward healthier choices. After college, I wished for a man to sit down and work on a budget with me, demonstrating how to balance the growing financial responsibilities of home ownership, car payments, and entertainment expenses.

Me being me, of course these fantasies included certain ramifications were I not to turn my life around. Those ramifications included (but were not limited to) frequent spankings: reminders in the morning, motivations in the afternoon, discipline in the evenings.

Today things are a bit different. I recognize that I don’t actually need someone else to guide me through positive choices or to help me sidestep dangerous scenarios, but there is yet an ever-present villain who needs vanquishing.

That villain isn’t around every day, or every week. But there are days when, suddenly, I find myself hostage to the villain’s negativity, falling prey to the whispered insults and immobilized by the worst case scenarios, as tied and captive as any damsel on the tracks.

That villain, in case you have not yet identified her, is myself. I am the one who poses the most danger to my well-being.

In this thing we do, my villain cannot be defeated by a simple telling-off or fist shaking, but must be met head on — heroically matched with words and actions to have her scamper off to an appropriate, unoccupied corner.

When my self-doubt strikes, I long for my man to take me over his lap, bare my bottom and, in soothing yet confident words, say, “Nobody talks about my girl like that. Not even her.”

That is my modern day hero.

14 Responses to “Villains and Heroes”

  1. Anonymous November 17, 2010 at 1:03 pm #

    I can arrange to have you tied to railroad tracks, if you'd like.

  2. barely.pink November 17, 2010 at 1:12 pm #

    Eep! That would make you more of a villain than a hero, but that could be a fun game, too. 😉

  3. Nakedjaebird November 17, 2010 at 1:31 pm #

    What if he/she tied you to the tracks and then changed clothes and saved you?

  4. barely.pink November 17, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

    Jae, that would be role-play at its finest.

  5. Ian - YEOWCH Blogger November 17, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    Hey Pink,Great blog and thanks for the link!!

  6. command November 17, 2010 at 2:37 pm #

    Hmmm. What side of the tracks are you from, anyway?

  7. Erica November 17, 2010 at 3:53 pm #

    Well said, as always.I would venture to say that even in the most independent of us, the most liberated and self-sufficient, there's that little part inside who yearns for a hero. In the stories, to save us from the Snidely Whiplashes of the world. In life, to save us on occasion from ourselves.I think you'd like a "hero" story I wrote, called "Someone to Watch Over Me." 🙂

  8. Traci November 17, 2010 at 4:31 pm #

    I absolutely love this fantasy. I have been in very mentally oppressive relationships and my idea of a strong man was always the bad guy. In the past year I have learned that the good strong guy is where it's at he can rescue you and let you know who's boss. 😉

  9. Scarlet November 17, 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    Pink, I always loved the end of the movie Pretty Woman, where Edward climbs up the fire escape to reach Vivian, and asks, "What happens after he rescues her?" and she answers, "She rescues him right back."That's the heart of all good relationships, isn't it? The rescuing to and fro…

  10. Michael November 17, 2010 at 8:16 pm #

    Pink, when I was a boy I had rescue fantasies where I was the one saving the damsel and kissing her. The spanking of the girl for her own good didn't come till later, but the seed was already planted as deep down I knew these good girls should be spanked.

  11. ronnie November 18, 2010 at 5:20 am #

    Pink, I think we all had a little fantasy like that in us when we were growing up, well I did :)Made me smile – I had visions of being tied, scantily clad, to the railroad.Love,Ronniexx

  12. Anonymous November 18, 2010 at 8:00 am #

    I too had fantasies like this as a small child and from my teens would write stories involving villains, rescue, a stern scolding followed by a spanking and then cuddles and kisses. (I didn't know how to take it further then:) )I am very lucky to have found someone who loves me enough to guide me and protect me from myself.dd

  13. OldFashionGirl November 18, 2010 at 9:17 am #

    Hmmm, makes me want to roleplay.xoxo

  14. barely.pink November 18, 2010 at 12:24 pm #

    Ian, likewise! :)D, I am from the right side of the tracks, of course.Erica, I would love to read your story! Where can I find it?Traci, the "good strong guy", yes. And he doesn't even need a cape.Scarlet, that comment is lovely. It is absolutely the heart of every good relationship — the whole yin and yang balance. Michael, surely not ALL those girls needed to be spanked. Perhaps you suffer from a case of wishful thinking? ;)Ronnie, yes. I wish I knew where I could find a set of abandoned (and secluded) train tracks!dd, welcome! Protection from oneself is the hardest help to ask for. I'm glad you've found him.Veronica, no kidding. Perhaps you will have a villain-hero photo shoot? That would be lovely!

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