Not in Kansas anymore

4 Nov

I received my first ever care package today. Even when I lived overseas and was dying for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and Tabasco Sauce, nobody ever thought to pack typically American things and pay the crazy postage to ship them to me.

But today, just now, I received this:

It was postmarked from Kansas, from a kinky friend who I’ve grown close to (obviously close enough that he knows my address). The suspense is killing me.

Shall I open it?

Any guesses what’s inside the bubble wrap?


If you said a quirt and a crop you’d be correct!

My Kansas friend just informed me that it’s technically a “hog slapper”, not a crop. But since I have neither farm nor hog, I shall refer to it as a crop. (I don’t have a horse either, but I’ve been known to whinny like one when the occasion suits.)

Although it’s certainly unlike any care package that I’ve imagined, it will “hit the spot” and “heat things up” far better than any boxed macaroni or hot sauce ever could.

Thank you, A!

9 Responses to “Not in Kansas anymore”

  1. Hermione November 4, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    Hi Pink,It looks like what's called a "bat". A hog slapper (or dogging bat) is wider. is my favourite source for implements.Hugs,Hermione

  2. November 4, 2010 at 2:54 pm #

    Oh, oh…I love that site! Thank you! And I cannot wait to tell my friend that he is wrong. ;)Hugs,Pink

  3. H November 4, 2010 at 4:59 pm #

    Now what are you going to do with that I wonder?If I was your employee then maybe you'd have a perfect use for it (see my blog today)

  4. Kirsten Louisa Saoirse Ellison November 4, 2010 at 5:28 pm #

    Now I do "live overseas" and I get care packages from Australia and New Zealand. And I bring stuff back to those places when I leave the Untied Kingdom. (I'd rather live in a Tied Kingdom…)BUTAll I ever get is lollies and bickies!!!! Nice ones of course, and there is usually a balloon or two and perhaps a novelty tee shirt or bandanna in national team colours.But never any hardware. :-((Mind you, boomerangs can be used very creatively in the hands of an Antipodean; they ALWAYS make me come back…)

  5. November 4, 2010 at 7:38 pm #

    Nolens Volens wished to say this after H's comment but Blogger is apparently acting up: "I wonder too… Care to demonstrate? LOL"H, I don't switch, but for that…I'd gladly take a crack at it. :)Nolens, why, it's to be used on my fictitious farm of course. I'm sure there will be many tales from the quirt. That thing looks like it's gonna hurt…cattle!Kirsten Louisa Saoirse Ellison (did I get it right that time?), I must hear this story of the Antipodean and the boomerang. Sounds fascinating. (Well played double entendre, too!)

  6. ronnie November 5, 2010 at 5:29 am #

    I've seen similar to that advertised as a dogging bat but the one I have is a lot wider. I love the the hand one.Have a good weekend.Love,Ronniexx

  7. slowburn November 5, 2010 at 11:09 am #

    Looks like you re in for some fun;)

  8. HEDONE November 6, 2010 at 1:04 am #


  9. thiskinkylife November 7, 2010 at 11:13 pm #

    The hog slapper I've been spanked with was much icky-er than that adorable one! I want a re-do!Em

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