Resolve

2 Nov
A choice: don’t do this thing or do it and get the cane.

And it won’t be the nice cane I’ve met before either. It’ll be more of the wicked caning that I received on Saturday for doing this same thing. “A sample”, he called it. It was a sample that left a half dozen stripes across the bottom of my cheeks — now gone but the memory of their raised fury remains. It was enough of a taste to know that I don’t want the full course.

If I do it, I will confess. That is the way with us. And then it will happen just as he told me it would.

“No,” I will whisper.

He will order me over the foot of the bed, without warm-up, without the comfort of restraints. He will order my panties down, will watch as I struggle to obey, will instruct me to keep my bottom high and my arms stretched out in front.

And then I will see him, standing slightly to my side, my eyes pleading with his as I watch his arm rise.

“No,” I will whisper again. “Please,” I will say, “I won’t do it again. I promise.”

In response, the cane will slice through the solemn air to bite my bottom with its licking venom.

And again. And again. He will do this six times, in rapid succession, before I can absorb the full impact of the burn. And then I imagine I will sob as the pain begins to come, pleading for it to be over, vowing that I will never do this thing again. I will try to stand but he will push me back down, swatting my hands away as they instinctively attempt to rub out the fire.

Then he will begin again. I do not want to imagine the second set of six. But I know that I will have difficulty finding my breath, difficulty staying put. No I do not want this. I want to be spanked and held on his lap; I want to skip this part and be forgiven.

Will this be necessary? Will this happen? I hope that writing this post and revisiting it will lend me enough willpower to prevent the preventable, to strengthen my resolve to avoid a session with a cane like he has described.

I will not do this thing. I will not. I will not.

25 Responses to “Resolve”

  1. Erica November 2, 2010 at 2:07 pm #

    Yeah, you will. 😉

  2. barely.pink November 2, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

    Ha. You have about as much confidence in me that I do! 😛

  3. SPANKEDHORTIC November 2, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    Wow "This thing" must be pretty serious. Only time will tell as to if you do "this thing" again ;)Prefectdt

  4. barely.pink November 2, 2010 at 2:22 pm #

    It is very, very serious. And it is extremely difficult for me to resist. The fact that I am too ashamed to mention what this thing is should be an indication that I shouldn't be doing it in the first place.But I am stubborn. And hard-headed.

  5. Michael November 2, 2010 at 2:30 pm #

    I agree, Pink, this "thing" must be very serious indeed. I trust you will keep us updated.

  6. babygirl cricket November 2, 2010 at 2:41 pm #

    Whatever 'this thing' is pink, you can restrain from doing it.. I know you can! Use that stubbornness to keep you from doing it. *Sending you willpower and Hugs*

  7. command November 2, 2010 at 2:43 pm #

    Pink, I just want you to know that whatever choice you make, I'll be behind you…..(and perhaps a little to the side, depending)

  8. Kirsten Louisa Saoirse Ellison November 2, 2010 at 4:03 pm #

    🙂 I think I like D. Well played sir!

  9. Brett B November 2, 2010 at 4:09 pm #

    If 'this thing' is dangerous or unhealthy for you, then I hope you can resist. In any case, a dozen with the cane is punishment to take very seriously. What a difficult and exciting choice to risk the bottom of your bottom.Wishing you the best.

  10. barely.pink November 2, 2010 at 4:40 pm #

    Michael, I will most definitely keep you all updated as I fear that my bottom is destined for that cane. Aargh.Thanks, cricket! I should view this as an opportunity to win not to lose anyway. Either way "this thing" has limited time in my life. It's just a question of whether I need to take my licks before I lick it.D, it is comforting to know that you remain a constant…always looking out for my back and my backside. Thank you.Kirsten, his witticisms know no end and he needs no encouragement. ;)Brett, this thing is certainly detrimental. I could see where some might seek this kind of result, a traditional caning, if their bottoms weren't getting enough attention. But D needs no reason and I don't want to give him one! So here's to making the right choice!Thanks for your comments, everyone!Hugs,Pink

  11. Viola November 2, 2010 at 5:18 pm #

    Good luck, whichever you decide 😉

  12. Bonnie-jo November 2, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

    There's a good cane and a bad cane. And then what you described sounds like a very bad cane. I hope it doesn't have to happen to you. :(But I like what you said–that either way, "this thing's" time in your life is limited….That's the way to think. Way to go, D!(Sorry, Pink, I can't help encouraging those who are up to good…lol.)

  13. barely.pink November 2, 2010 at 7:10 pm #

    Viola, I feel a little "may the force be with you" tonight as I try to continue making the right decision. :)Bonnie-jo, no worries. D, as usual, has my best interests in mind, although what is best for me may not be best for my bottom! *Deep breaths* Thanks for your supportive comments, everyone!

  14. Raven Red November 2, 2010 at 7:27 pm #

    Miss Pink, My bad cane is waiting for me around the corner. Uncle Nick might be sick now, and I have really tried these past few days to convince him otherwise, but alas, my fiery temper has dropped me in deep trouble. The taxi driver incident is still referred to in those frozen tones, and if it makes you feel better, I have 12 strokes waiting for me. I have even been shown where the cane is.Second thought – maybe I should have gone on a nice long cruise…HugsRaven

  15. barely.pink November 2, 2010 at 7:43 pm #

    Haha, "those frozen tones"…I'm sorry, I do not mean to laugh. It is just that I know exactly what you mean.These men of ours are excellent at building anticipation, aren't they? It's a dirty trick.Hugs to you for your impending caning. Please do not tell me if it is awful — only if it wasn't as bad as you were thinking it would be. On second thought, I'll just assume it was awful so I will continue to avoid doing the thing which must not be done.Hugs again,Pink

  16. radanols_girl November 2, 2010 at 9:18 pm #

    Pink, count me amongst those who *almost* wish for a caning, due to the infrequency of attention to my bottom. Almost, because I've not yet tasted just how bad it can be, but I know He can do so much worse than He has in the past. Perhaps I should just ask for a spanking and try to be good. Here is hoping you manage to not do "that thing," and if you do slip up, you can always come get some virtual sympathy.

  17. Nakedjaebird November 2, 2010 at 9:40 pm #

    …I want to know what 'this thing' is…

  18. barely.pink November 2, 2010 at 10:27 pm #

    radanols girl, I'm unfamiliar with the dynamic you share with Him, but asking for a spanking is almost always regarded as a sexy offering. And I do not like the cane. Even the nice cane. But I have always had a mental block with that particular implement; some people say that it is their favorite. Their favorite! Impossible! ;)I know just where to look for some virtual sympathy. Thanks for your support — it is so appreciated!Jae, I'll never tell. It is bad enough that D knows. It is not so terrible…just something that impedes my goals for myself, you know? A caning, although unwanted, would definitely hold me accountable to my goals.

  19. Brett B November 3, 2010 at 12:10 am #

    It sounds like this is something you really shouldn't do. The threat of a spanking may be all the influence needed to address the issue effectively. Or sometimes the spanking has to happen just once so that you truly don't want it repeated. Either way your behavior is modified, but the former would be so much easier than a caning.The anticipation is exciting, and I'm hoping you make the right decision.

  20. barely.pink November 3, 2010 at 8:48 am #

    Brett B, I imagine you can deliver an outstanding lecture. 🙂

  21. ronnie November 3, 2010 at 10:12 am #

    Oh dear I really think you shouldn't do it but sounds like you probably will :)Love,Ronniexx

  22. barely.pink November 3, 2010 at 12:31 pm #

    I really hope not, Ronnie. And I mean it sincerely. (But you may be right.)Hugs,Pink

  23. Scarlet November 4, 2010 at 8:13 am #

    Pink, it sounds like D knows you well. How to dissuade you first from the thing you mustn't do, and how to help you assuage your guilt second, if you fall and find yourself doing it.Don't do it, not because of the cane, but because the things we do that we know we shouldn't cause us to lose faith in ourselves.

  24. HEDONE November 4, 2010 at 10:30 am #

    "He will order me over the foot of the bed, without warm-up, without the comfort of restraints. He will order my panties down, will watch as I struggle to obey, will instruct me to keep my bottom high and my arms stretched out in front."That passage alone gets me worked up.-H

  25. barely.pink November 4, 2010 at 2:59 pm #

    Don't do it, not because of the cane, but because the things we do that we know we shouldn't cause us to lose faith in ourselves. Beautifully stated and frightfully true, Scarlet. So far, so good. I think I might actually win this battle with myself.Hedone, I told him he could do it anyway, whenever he wished to(he already knew that). I must admit relief when he stated that he does not want to do this type of caning unless it's absolutely necessary. Good guy, D.

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