Addicted to (Ass) Crack

14 Oct
Listen to the song as you read the alternative lyrics below this delectable photo.

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Her pants are up, but you still know
the prize that lies below.
Your palms sweat, your loins ache,
another spank is what it takes.

You can’t sleep, you can’t eat.
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep.
Your throat is tight, you can’t breathe —
another spank is all you need.

Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to this stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough,
you know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to crack.

You see the curves, you need a grope.
You want more than dreams and hope.
Your hand beats in double time —
another spank and you’ll be mine, a one-crack mind.

She can’t be saved —
a spanking is all you crave.
If she bends in front of you
you can’t stop what you’ll do.

Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to this stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough,
you know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to crack.

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to crack.

Her pants are on, but you’re not fooled —
your girl, she must be schooled.
Your palms sweat, your teeth grind,
another spank and you’ll be mine.

Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to this stuff, oh yeah.
It’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough,
you know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to crack.

Might as well face it, you’re addicted to crack.


Say it with me: “My name is ______, and I’m addicted to crack.”

You’re not alone. The enticing line that peeks out above panties is just too tempting to resist. But that’s one addiction that shouldn’t be curbed.

And while we’re admitting vices, I don’t think it’s any secret that I like my crack with a little smack.

Music and original lyrics to “Addicted to Love” by Robert Palmer, who did NOT sing about being addicted to crack, but who very well might be.

14 Responses to “Addicted to (Ass) Crack”

  1. HEDONE October 14, 2010 at 6:32 am #

    I am Hedone, I am an ass-crack addict.You are barely.pink and funny as hell.-H

  2. barely.pink October 14, 2010 at 7:51 am #

    …and an ass-crack addict. :)It feels good, doesn't it?Thanks, Hedone!

  3. command October 14, 2010 at 9:18 am #

    I might as well face it, I only bought that can of Spackle for the free, extra large putty tool that came with it…..

  4. ronnie October 14, 2010 at 9:52 am #

    LOL Pink, you are great. I hope you get Chrossed for it.Love,Ronniexx

  5. barely.pink October 14, 2010 at 10:11 am #

    D: I KNEW it. Who needs that much spackle? For that matter, who needs that many extra large putty tools?Ronnie: Thanks! Although I must say that I am no longer the spoiled birthday princess of a week ago. I have perspective now, remember? 😉

  6. Nolens Volens October 14, 2010 at 1:11 pm #

    Funny way to admit to your addiction to crack. You "cracked" me up a little. 😉

  7. Erica October 14, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    You are freaking brilliant! I love song parodies, and this one is perfect. 😀

  8. Hedone October 14, 2010 at 4:08 pm #

    ROFL: Command you're a funny man, too.b.p honey you are in trouble!

  9. Anonymous October 14, 2010 at 9:17 pm #

    Ooh I remember this song inb the original versiuon. I so wanted to be one of those women with their black dresses anbd pantyhose and the "fuck off" lipstick.Nice work BeePee!Curtseygirl.

  10. B'Man October 15, 2010 at 6:25 am #

    Yep….addicted in the worse way. Ass crack addict! You ARE hilarious! And creative.

  11. barely.pink October 15, 2010 at 7:38 am #

    Nolens: Fighting it alone is so ineffectual — I had to announce it to the world. Go ahead, you can do it too. It feels goooooood. ;)Erica: Me too! Writing it sort of made me feel like I was back in high school though. My friends and I used to do that all the time. You should hear the version of "When I think about you I touch myself" (which really didn't need modification as it was dirty in the first place…but, whoa, it had a lot more flavor when we were done with it!). Hedone: He is and I am.Curtseygirl: That video is such a classic. It started a trend of slicked back hair and red lipstick (which is an unfortunate look for the big eared among us). 🙂 'BeePee'…like it!B'Man: Addicted so bad, it's good, right? And thank you! It was fun tweaking the lyrics.

  12. SPANKEDHORTIC October 15, 2010 at 12:49 pm #

    This is the best argument that I have ever seen for there to be only female workers on building sites :)Prefectdt

  13. Raven Red October 15, 2010 at 11:44 pm #

    Absolutely brilliant! Sexy and so funny. Read this after I came home from having mine spanked..well, I read it standing up..

  14. barely.pink October 19, 2010 at 8:29 pm #

    Sorry for missing your comments earlier, Prefectdt and Raven Red! (Sometimes I'm so blonde it's a wonder I can function.)Prefectdt: Now, that's some crack I could handle. About a month ago I passed a site where a really big guy had his ENTIRE butt hanging out. The whole thing. It's a wonder he didn't cause an accident as people tried to speed away!Raven Red: Reading while standing up, while not very relaxing, is one of my most favorite pastimes. Oh happy night for you, then!

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