Crazed (not crazy)

12 Oct

I hate this. I love this.

My life would be so much simpler, yet fundamentally incomplete, without it.

This craving that cannot be satisfied by anything else inches its way into the dishes, the laundry, phone calls with friends. On my daily walk I fantasize bizarre and unusual scenarios — being spanked by my neighbor, the postman, the man with the annoying dog who I pass most mornings.


And yet there are times when I most definitely do not enjoy D’s attention to detail when painting my behind. It is not an entirely pleasant or dignified affair, me blubbering “stop, stop, please” as I fight to gain some space between my bottom and the strap, my losing battle later evident in the mirror when I gaze upon my poor, punished cheeks.

Unless I’m role-playing, I’m not the type to protest much when it comes time to unbutton my pants — I want this. And I certainly don’t protest after the first few warming smacks from D’s hand; I could handle a warm-up that lasts all day.


But when things really get going, when the *thwack* and *crack* of the wooden paddle echo in the room, I wonder what ever made me think I enjoy this. I want it to stop. I want to escape.

Is this really what I think about when lying in my bed? Is this really what I focus on over my first cup of coffee?

I must be crazy.


I feel my body’s response to the unrelenting rhythm, the spanks landing lower and lower on my cheeks, and, as the spanking builds, I can’t help but grind against him, then rise up to meet my adversary, simultaneously hoping for the end while yearning for it to continue.

I would point to the amazing sex we enjoy afterward, but I know that that’s only part of the attraction. I’ve had spanking relationships with no sex at all which served their purpose — although it must be said that I would carve out some alone time, one foot propped on the bathtub while my fingers provided relief to the other aching area that needed attention.


Wondering why I love to be spanked would be like wondering why another needs to be kissed — although for me there’s nothing sweeter than a kiss laced with the possibility of a spanking later.

And when my pleas turn to moans which turn to gasps punctuated by cresting waves, who am I to question why I have this need?

I just do.

Note to readers: Duct tape can only hold a computer together for so long. Mine is finally being fixed by a real professional and I will be offline for a few days. I pinky promise to respond to comments upon my return.

8 Responses to “Crazed (not crazy)”

  1. His mountain girl October 12, 2010 at 4:48 pm #

    love this post….so so true.hurry back Miss Pink.

  2. command October 12, 2010 at 6:56 pm #

    Pink, this is how we're wired. The way we get a charge is connecting the negative to the positive.

  3. MarQe's Study October 12, 2010 at 7:07 pm #

    Thanks for the well wish barely … This post is brilliant !! MarQe x

  4. Bonnie-jo October 12, 2010 at 10:13 pm #

    I've certainly had those "why am I letting him do this to me?" moments. And then I come back for more….:)

  5. Anonymous October 13, 2010 at 7:15 am #

    I love those nipples – obviously a sign of excitement and arousal

  6. barely.pink October 14, 2010 at 7:42 am #

    HMG: I'm baaaack! :)D: That is so true.Bonnie-jo: Right? Always come back for more…we are indecisive, aren't we?Anony: Oh yes. Either that or it's cold.Thanks for commenting, everyone. I apologize for my absence!

  7. Raven Red October 16, 2010 at 12:03 am #

    I have stopped wondering – accepted that I am put together this way – but your post is so true. During a spanking, I truly wonder why it is that I wanted this, and some part of me wants to say that I had enough – but yet, I stay..But that feeling afterwards, the change in me – softer, more relaxed…wanting to curl up and seek out the comfort of his arms, hearing his voice gentle now…For me it is a stress reliever, an outlet for emotions normally bottled up, that results in me being moody, miserable and argumentative.Loved this(Hugs)Raven

  8. barely.pink October 17, 2010 at 1:05 pm #

    Raven: You describe the softness afterward perfectly. It is definitely the before and after of the spanking itself that I crave — although the powerlessness of surrender is a beautiful thing, too!

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