A Dummie’s Guide to Friends

Frenemy: (n) An enemy disguised as a friend.

 
It was quite by accident that I acquired my first frenemy. I don’t often misjudge people; granting someone friendship has always been a careful undertaking. But this woman…she charmed me somehow and it wasn’t until later that I realized her purpose in befriending me: to use my confidences against me to get me spanked, hard, so she could watch and laugh.
 
As a favor to you, dear readers, I’d like to illustrate via a pictorial, the difference between true friends and frenemies.
 

Frenemies: the ones on the other side of the bars, laughing at you as you’re punished for their misdeeds.
 
 

True friends: those who work together toward mutually rewarding ends.
 
 

Frenemies: those who would watch idly by while you face certain demise.
 
 

True friends: lend you a back to cry on.

 
 

Hope that spares you any unnecessary disappointment and heartache. While frenemies certainly have their place, they can do terrible damage to one’s bottom.
 
 
D & I are on vacation and have limited online access. Be a friend and leave a comment; I’ll reply when I’m able. And that’s not a back-handed promise, I swear.

Hoodwinked

It turns out that the tinted windows on the car rental were wholly unnecessary.
 
 
D & I are on vacation this week. I’m not sure which to avoid more: the hotel stairwells or the elevators. Tough choice between the lesser of two evils. One echoes and the other has a camera.

Something Stinks

When I said that something smelled like poo, I didn’t mean that it was you!
 
Next thing I know, I’m hauled over the likely culprit, the septic tank, and given a sound strapping.
 
I’d argue that it wasn’t fair but I’m afraid you’d find a Porta-Potty next.
 
Harumph.
 
 
EDIT: So, it’s been brought to my attention that this is a propane tank and not a septic tank. HA! My city girl ignorance is showing. Thanks, Gern, for pointing that out. (I guess.)
 
D & I are on vacation this week. Do you think he’ll spank me in the rental car? I hope he asked for something with tinted windows.

Direct Hit

A lull in the movie made me do it.
 
He was practically snoozing and I felt the need to liven things up. Taking a handful of popcorn, I pretended to lift it to my mouth and then…Bulls-eye! I launched it right at his nose. Direct hit.
 
Well, I livened things up, all right.
 
With a stern look, he promptly pulled me over his lap, yanked up my skirt, and made some direct hits of his own.

 
Conclusion: the movie wasn’t worth the ticket price, but the popcorn was worth every overcharged penny.
 
 
D & I are on vacation this week. I sure hope the hotel room walls aren’t paper-thin.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

We’re preparing for our camping trip, cutting wood from the fallen trees. Productivity bores me so I decide to reenact some old cheers from high school.
 
“Go Bananas…B-A-N-A-N-A-S….Peel it to the left! Peel it to the right! Peel it down the middle and….UNH…take a bite!” I sing, spreading my legs as I mime peeling and end with a deep, suggestive thrust, emphasizing the ‘unh’.
 
You are appalled that I used to display myself like that, in my short cheerleading uniform. It was years ago, but still….this is what you do:
 
 
Making a public spanking spectacle for making a spectacle: how ironic.

 
 
D & I are on vacation with limited online access. What crazy place will he find to spank me? Please…not the hotel lobby.

Bare Necessities

I’ve been told that all I need to pack for our vacation is a hairbrush.
 
Forget the swimsuit, the cumbersome luggage — just my hairbrush and a man who knows how to use it.
 

I’m going to have the best hair on the beach.
 

Silver lining

And both hands, now use both hands.
Oh, no don’t close your eyes.
I am writing graffiti on your body…
I am drawing the story…..

-Ani Difranco

We are at a beach resort and it is raining; the rain will last until our departure tomorrow. There is not much to do at the beach with this drizzle so we’ve stayed sequestered in our tiny room. I have not slept like this since I was a teenager.

The corner room holds a bed and an armoire — a bath built for small people juts off to the side. It is all that we need.

He asked me, a few minutes ago, with sleep in his voice, to get the bath brush. I scratched his back instead, cloaking my defiance in sweetness, until he was sleeping once again. Now I am sitting on the covered balcony, my inner thighs aching and tired from our activities of yesterday and this morning. My bottom is tender.

I am happy.

I plan to wake him with coffee and place myself, gently, over his lap, an offering to pass the time. (I will not offer him the bath brush as it seems too harsh for the delicate nature of the day. The rain needs only a hand for accompaniment.)

We had plans, but what we are doing is better. We curl together and whisper in our sleep, my fingers tracing the bedframe of his body, his hand resting on the pillow of my bottom.

In a few minutes I will wake him. And we will rock, rock, rock back to sleep.

Command

“And tomorrow if you’re not kneeling at the door with your knees apart and your naked pussy on display, I will casually drag you out the door and spank you in the driveway.

I’m going to touch you and probe you before I spank you. Then I’m going to probe you again.”

This is why I’m addicted.

And he means the bit about the driveway.

Going Green

Tip for going green:

Dry your panties by hand. Wring out the panties first, otherwise it will take far too long (and although you may not lose interest, you may lose stamina).

Put on the damp panties. Assume the position, and have your “hand-dryer” start spanking vigorously.

After about 20 minutes, the back of your panties should be fairly dry. But the gusset? Hmm…wetter than ever. And maybe not so clean anymore.

Repeat the process until you achieve favorable results.

I’m unsure of this method for other articles of clothing; in fact, I doubt it would work so well.

As conscientious citizens, we all must do our part, however small. The Earth will thank you for it.

Recommended reading

I’m away for the weekend again. This time D and I decided on a more hoighty-toighty trip to wine country and a Bed & Breakfast, as opposed to last week’s NASCAR camping adventure. I’m sure I’ll have much to share upon my return on the challenges of keeping quiet while in someone else’s home. B & B’s are strange and lovely that way — we really will be guests in a stranger’s abode.

While I’m away, take a few moments to check out these hot bloggers. They are my go-to destination for inspiration.

• The Pleasure Principle – She truly is a hedonistic, smart chick with many sensual tales.

• Ecce Spanking – A new blog, but one to watch. His entries read like poetry.
• Mischief Managed – A well-written, thought-provoking blog by one of my favorite spankos. She also recently posted Vol. 2 of her tale with D & I.
• Think Pink – A light-hearted view of the spanking fetish. Her posts are fun and frequent.
• Awesomeness and the good girl – They’re cool. They’re committed. They’re…awesome.
• Chross Blog – I always enjoy his regular posts as well as his links to the best spankings of the week.

This is by no means a complete list. Check out my blog roll for more hot entries from some of the most talented & hardworking bloggers around the net.

Until Monday, then. Enjoy your weekend!